She in the Memory of Painful Youth

Love, what is it? ‌ A paradigm of secular acquiescence? Driven by biological instinct? Or is it the attraction of the soul as Plato said? The vision and boundaries of the love I am talking about here are necessarily framed by my identity and perspective - a semi-naive young man who has just escaped from the ignorance of adolescence, but is suddenly suppressed by the weight of the adult world. My thinking is the product of this gap. I have asked repeatedly, but can never find an answer. What is it that clouds my perception? Is it the uncontrollable throbbing that seems to come from the depths of the blood every time you face the opposite sex, which is as timely as the tide? Or is it the inexplicable and thick disgust that surges up in your heart every time you talk about "opposite sex topics" with your same-sex friends? Having said that, where does this disgust come from? They did nothing wrong. Is this kind of groundless rejection itself a deviation? A... Mistake that needs to be fixed?