[Mentored by Jia Xu] [Older brother Lü Bu] [Sister-in-law, don’t look back, it’s your brother] [Scheming, explosive, and satisfying]
Lü Zi Qiao transmigrates into the body of Lü Bu’s cousin, starting out as a top-tier simp! He gets a Simp System that lets him draw attributes and skills by groveling before others. But he redefines groveling: slap someone across the face, and how could they not kneel?
Recommended by Cai Yong, he enters the Imperial Academy, only to be framed by a young nobleman of the Yuan clan. His reputation is ruined, and his chances of entering government service are gone. Lü Qiao decides to fill the empty seat of the Xiongnu Chanyu, who has no Han Chinese in his harem. First, he’ll grab himself a Xiongnu Chanyu!
Liu Bei: “Lü Qiao installed an empress. If he helps her into bed, does that count as restoring the Han?”
Cao Cao: “Lü Qiao may call himself regent, but he’s a traitor to the Han! Anyone who isn’t a Liu prince should be punished by all under heaven. What? The late emperor gave him the Liu surname, so that counts?”
Yuan Shao: “Lü Qiao, my son wronged you back then. I’ll offer my daughter-in-law, Zhen Ji, as an apology. Please withdraw your troops. What? You want my wife too? You vile Cao Cao! I’ll never share the same sky with you!”
Jia Xu: “I only taught Lü Qiao the Analects for a few days. How can I be blamed for how wicked he is?”
Lü Bu: “...”
The body lying there for half a year hasn't finished yet, and it's starting again here.