Harry Potter: Is This Chosen One for Real?

[Successful Voldemort timeline: results]

Voldemort: Hehehe, Harry Potter is dead! Hehehe! That Chosen One, Harry Potter, is such a loser!

Laigushi: So I stepped in!

Voldemort: Who are you? I'm the great Dark Lord. What do you mean, you stepped in?

[Harry Potter embarks on the cycle of reincarnation once more]

Dumbledore: Coming toward us is the Chosen One of the Wizarding World, the Prisoner of Flame, a man born with divine strength, the embodiment of humility, friendship, and virtue, one of the Golden Lineage, a strapping man two meters tall... Harry Potter!!!

Reader: ???

Dumbledore: Is there a problem?

Reader: Is this really the Chosen One you wanted?

Dumbledore: Yes, yes, yes! Wait, no, no, no? Huh?

Voldemort: I was wrong! I don't want this Chosen One!

Laigushi: Is there a problem? Little Fu, the suffering I endured is yours to enjoy too. Seeing this, I'm so happy I could dance!

Author: Ow! Laigushi got MVP! Dumbledore is a lucky freeloader!

Laigushi: The Chosen One after 33,550,336 cycles of reincarnation. Little Fu, do you like him? I don't. He's a secondhand computer I picked up from the Erudition. That Chosen One blew it up while under the gaze of our god, Nanook. There's no use for it now, so I might as well give it to you!

Dumbledore: Heehee.

Voldemort: Not heehee.

Reader: Who said you could heehee?