Other sects’ spirits: They guard the mountain with formations that subdue demons and ancient divine artifacts that keep everyone safe.
The spirits of my Qingyun Sect: Busy turning everyday life into a joke
The stone lion spirit squats in the latrine collecting “spiritual energy tolls,” while the ants block the door if they don’t pay up in grain;
The medicine cauldron spirit refines pills entirely through gossip. It spread a rumor that Third Senior Brother was “in love with his bed,” and he chased me down three streets with his sword;
The rusty iron sword always crashes into the chicken coop when it takes off, yet insists, “The chicken coop is a better place to comprehend the Dao than the sect leader’s pill furnace”;
Even the laundry platform has become a cleanliness freak, washing the sect leader’s robe into a bellyband and saying, “It’s cooler for sword practice this way.”
Li Goudan (rubbing his forehead): The day I dripped blood to bind them to me, I thought I’d found a group of guardians. Turns out I’d taken in a pile of demanding ancestors.
Now the whole sect’s spirits are waiting for me to clean up after them
“Goudan! The stone lion is fighting the door-panel spirit for the right to guard the latrine again!”
“Goudan! The medicine cauldron handed out reverse-speech pills like candy!”
“Goudan! The rusty iron sword eloped to the chicken coop with the Qingxuan sword!”
Me: ...Maybe I should quit this cultivation business?
The spirits (all bristling): No way! You haven’t shared your osmanthus cakes with us yet!
(Updated daily with 4,000+ characters, all silly everyday antics from the spirits. The jokes come faster than the fart pot of the spirit chef. If you don’t laugh, follow the internet cable here and beat up the stone lion, it’s thick-skinned and can take a beating.)
