Xuanwu Guards the World: From the Start, He Shakes the Papal Palace
Xuan Ming awakens a god-tier Xuanwu martial soul. His gravity domain brings down a Spirit Hall branch, and Pope Bibi Dong instantly turns into a lovestruck girl: “Be my big brother!” The saintess Hu Liena provokes him and is made to kneel with a flick of his finger. The entire Golden Generation is left dejected.
The heroines throw themselves at him:
• Bibi Dong: She stays up late embroidering a Xuanwu cape. After he pats her head, she blushes: “I order you to come pay your respects every day!”
• Qian Renxue: Her disguise as a crown prince is exposed in front of everyone, and her lace dress wows the crowd. “Had your fill? Then take responsibility!”
• Snow Emperor and Ice Emperor: The two rulers of the far north are cowed by Xuanwu’s pressure. Ice Emperor wraps herself around him like a scorpion-tail scarf and coos, while Snow Emperor melts the ice palace to make a hot spring and invites him to bathe together.
A complete record of beating Tang San:
• He slips on a banana peel in the Star Dou Forest, and a hidden weapon sticks in his buttocks as his wails echo through the skies.
• In the battle on Sea God Island, Xuan Ming drains the water from the Seven Sacred Pillars. Bo Saixi drops to her knees, crying, “Where’s the sea?!”
• After becoming a god, Tang San returns and thrusts his trident at Xuan Ming’s chest. The tip bends into a U, leaving him utterly stunned.
• In the final battle, Xuan Ming grinds Tang San’s face underfoot. “Call me Dad and I’ll spare your miserable life!” (Divine armor ripped off.)
A compilation of the most epic moments:
• The Titan Snow Demon King refuses to yield? One stomp sends him into the ice. “You think you’re fit to be king?” (He offers himself as a sacrifice.)
• Dugu Bo tries to poison him, only to be force-fed poisonous soup. He begs for mercy and offers up immortal herbs: “Please don’t kill me!”
• The God of Asura projects his avatar, but Xuan Ming tears apart his divine will. “Who do you think you are?” (The Divine Realm loses a few bricks.)
• The Silver Dragon King, Gu Yuena, offers up her reverse scale: “The beast horde is yours, and so am I!”
Ultimate secrets: Stand still and the villains blow themselves up. Crook a finger and the goddesses fall into your arms. Whoever you glare at hits their knees. Face-slapping never gets old!
Too childish(; 一_一)