I Became a Sword Spirit and Got the Tragic Female Lead’s Script

After becoming a sword spirit, I got a tragic romance plot that seems to have gone completely wrong!

When I became the busted old sword destined to be sacrificed for the male and female leads’ love, I, Rustproof (that’s me), was prepared for it.

Wasn’t I just supposed to accompany my master through the usual “misunderstanding, separation, and digging out his heart to prove his love” routine?

Once the story was over, I’d find a cave, lie flat, and rust away in peace.

But the plot started going off the rails on day one.

The heroine was supposed to be misunderstood by the hero and jump off a cliff to prove her innocence. Instead, he held me to her neck, and I heard his thoughts loud and clear:

[The sword tip is half an inch from her throat! Her lashes are trembling. Is she afraid it’ll hurt? Should I pretend my hand slipped?]

Even more ridiculous, the villain was supposed to kidnap the heroine and force the hero to realize his feelings. I was all set to “get snatched by the villain and deliberately jam up to buy time,” but the hero actually hugged me (yes, hugged a sword), eyes red, and asked, “What if it gets scratched?”

Rustproof: […]

Wait a minute, this isn’t the ending where “the hero breaks me with his own hands and the heroine embraces my broken blade and dies for love”!

And could you two stop acting out your inner monologues at a sword? I can hear you, you know! Keep this up and I’ll rust from laughing first!