On the first day modern-day flop author Li Goudan transmigrated into King Zhou of Shang, he nearly got sacrificed to Heaven as a “human offering.” To save his own skin, he was forced to rewrite the Investiture of the Gods storyline using web-novel tropes: he rebranded the “Back, back, back!” hand gesture as a “heavenly sacrificial dance for communicating with the gods,” tricking the shamans into prostrating themselves; he carved “Wen Zhong must live for 30 chapters” onto oracle bones, only for the tortoiseshell to explode and predict that “the Grand Tutor will rebel within three days”; he even recruited Daji as a “plot consultant” and had the Jie Sect immortals form a group and debut with a girl-group dance...
When Jiang Ziya showed up with the “Official Outline of the Investiture of the Gods,” Li Goudan turned it into a power fantasy: “Yuanshi Tianzun has to give the protagonist a golden finger! Otherwise, readers won’t buy it!” Wen Zhong was so furious he smashed his bronze goblet. “Your Majesty! This script is more chaotic than cracks in a tortoiseshell!” Tongtian Patriarch started livestreaming sales of “Zhuxian Sword Formation” models, but sales were so awful he cried himself unconscious in Biyou Palace...
How did the grand plan to overthrow Shang turn into “Raising Investiture’s Top-Tier Stars”? And the wildest part? The King of Hell sent a message demanding an update: “King Zhou! When are you updating ‘I Write Power Fantasies in the Underworld’? The Ten Kings of Hell are all waiting for the next chapter!”
Help! I only wanted to write a web novel to save my own skin. How did I end up wrecking the plot of all Three Realms?!
