The author once came across Liangzi on Douyin, and it was like being haunted by a ghost. I wanted to experience the life of a brute in the first person, so I wrote this, dedicating it to the month Liangzi spent harassing me.
Water has a source, trees have roots, but Liangzi’s brutishness has no reason behind it.
I’m Liangzi, the “real” mukbang streamer in the eyes of millions of fans.
My old mother tells me to eat less, so I hit her with the “filial devotion” of my fists.
My adoptive father just had surgery? Perfect. He can empty my bedpan and sell me enemas to look after me.
My daughter didn’t clean the bedpan properly? I yell at her! Barbecue is only for watching me eat. If I get fat, who’s going to work for me?
I sell my wife for the latest phone and say without a shred of shame, “What man doesn’t beat his wife?”
I steal a child’s biscuits on the train, then steal cable while hiking and end up in jail. I scoff, “Only the poor follow the rules.”
An underage girl accepts a cash gift and agrees to meet up? Fifty-two yuan is enough to bring honor to her ancestors.
Then I fantasize about marrying and having kids with a top-tier star who’s a famous internet celebrity, while dumping my own daughter on my frail old father…
As a wave of rage sweeps across the internet, I grin wickedly at the camera. “The traffic is so worth it.”
