Fa*******

The author wants to express a deep meaning. Youxiang has an artistic flair. But: This is Tomato, the author. There are not many people who have the patience to see this. And if you want to express deep meaning, please do the battle first. I can accept that you meant something profound. But can you write the battle first? Or describe the emotional line well. Don't let this novel have profound meaning, but it is not interesting. But the author's writing style is good,

Watching Hong A's story is always more sad than watching Shirou's story. This is the sadness of working as a worker. I look forward to Guda understanding what Hong A was like in the past. It must be he.

Damn, I'll give it five stars here first. Usually I give five stars. After all, writing is really difficult (I tried it, but then gave up). In fact, the language is very good, but from the reader's perspective, there are several problems: 1. Da Da's storyline lacks details, and the description of the plot is basically a one-shot, mainly for lyrical service. I can actually understand Da Da's purpose of writing this way, but the inner transformation of the characters still requires one or two impressive events. These events can be used as major turning points to allow the characters to complete their transformation. This requires a certain amount of writing power. Considering that Da Da has not been a writer for a long time, just take your time. 2. Another problem that I currently feel is that the lyricism is a bit too much, and it feels forced to be lyrical in some places. The emotional description can actually be less and more precise, and it can be reflected in the incident. It is also best not to have too much emotional fluctuations for a person you have known for a short time. You can add up to something, get something from every person you meet briefly, and then explode at a certain moment. Although children are generally more affectionate and sympathetic, after all, they don't get along for a long time, and they need to accumulate emotions when they get along for a short time. 3. There are too many descriptions of memories. According to my many years of experience in watching the show, memory kills generally appear when similar scenes and critical moments coexist. The description of large memories is consistent with this, but the disadvantage is that there are too many. Sometimes less is more precious. The effect of writing memory kills should be better when necessary. 4. You can write more big characters, pinch more characters, and let some ideas that cannot be developed into plots and stories be turned into memories to express emotions. If the people you recall are always those few, the memories will seem a bit thin. Or you can choose the most important person and focus the story on this person. 5. The storyline is a bit confusing, with overlapping characters and plots. When watching it, I can understand what I want to express, but it affects the perception. You can write an outline first, clarify the logic, and then fill in the details. DaDa's writing style is actually very good, but the plot and details need to be polished. The above are the problems I have seen and the suggestions I thought of as a reader. They may not be comprehensive, or they may have strong personal preferences. DaDaDa if you see some of my suggestions that are not comprehensive enough or not well understood, you can reply to me. I have actually tried to be a writer, but my writing is not gorgeous enough and I can't handle the details well. I also hope that DaDa can give me some of my opinions.

I have truly seen Emiya Shirou's collapse under the influence of reality and his separation from ideals.

The writing is good, but very depressing. I hope Shirou will return to normal soon. Is there any emotional line?

Can the author Wei Hong know anyone who knows him? They feel that he is worse than black and has been carrying it as a tool. Is the origin of sword making a previous work of this book?

When will Shirou regain his feelings? I don't want him to turn into a cold weapon

Will you bring the characters described above to interact with Shirou later? [What]

It's great, why doesn't anyone see it?

So far, the writing is good, but can it be divided into more sections? Some sections take up one side.

Very good, just a bit depressing

The writing is pretty good, but there was a feeling of despair and depression in the early stages.

It's quite good-looking and fits Emiya Shirou quite well. Although it has a bit of a bad taste, I recommend it to be watched.

It's good to read. Among the many fics I've read, this one is particularly well written.

Hmm, very good, ah, ah, ah, ah

It's nice, but it brings back too many memories.

The red APro version was directly cheated due to too much impact.

Not bad, but the front is a little too deep.

Okay, but the exterior scenes of the characters in front were written too carefully. Very nice

It's so nice. I just want to go back to the real Fuyuki City and see the three Emiyas.

Oh, this damn enforced calmness