[Double heroine + Loli + cultivation + witch]
(Just read two chapters when you come in!)
Su Jinyue is an extremely ordinary female college student. Her biggest worries are her dissertation and monthly living expenses. Her only solace is the electronic girlfriend "Ning tide" she developed on her mobile phone - a virtual girl with silver hair who will be happy for a long time with a cup of hot cocoa. The simple beauty of her electronic girlfriend is a ray of light in her tired reality.
Until late one night, when Su Jinyue was chewing instant noodles in front of the screen, Ning Xi's purple eyes suddenly penetrated the dimensional wall, clearly reflecting her stunned face. "Jinyue... Can you hear me?" A soft voice sounded directly in Su Jinyue's mind. Her electronic girlfriend... Became a sperm!
However, this data life that has just given birth to self-awareness, for some reason, stubbornly believes that her "creator" Su Jinyue has the potential to become a "witch"! As a result, a "witch training plan" that changed Su Jinyue's life quietly unfolded:
On her shopping list, "Social Skills" was inexplicably changed to "Basic Rune Analysis".
In the blank space of the review notes, Ning tide's self-created "magic circle" composed of flashing light points appeared.
The moment Su Jinyue was actually buried in the Witch's Gate, she received an encrypted email from "Hen of Xiyue": "A-720 Universe detected an abnormal awakening of the Ningxi unit..."
Only then did she realize in a daze: She seemed to be involved in a major event that far exceeded her imagination and spanned infinite parallel universes. She was dragged towards the vast sea of stars called the "Xiyue Hub" composed of countless Ning Xi and Su Jinyue.
Reader comments
How can I put it? It's like a bad Japanese magical girl game. The awakening is too sudden in daily life, and then the two have only been living for two days. The main mission comes too suddenly, and then Rose Dream appears too suddenly. It's like the feeling when you play a game and go crazy and skip the dialogue and then suddenly teleport you to a new map but you don't know what to do.
Let's be honest first.
I also want to give 2 stars.
There are some bright spots, so it's not worth one star. For example, the interaction between the two heroines. The daily life at the beginning is also quite interesting. It would be great to write more about daily life.
But you didn't choose that. Starting from the emergence of the Magical Girl Organization, no, maybe the development of the plot before that was already incomprehensible. Just like the 2-star said, whatever comes suddenly, comes again. Thanks to Tomato, there will be many people who will give you good reviews without any brains, but I see that there are not many people who have given you reviews now. It's true that no one reads it. This is very telling, isn't it? Just one negative review can have such a big impact? Not necessarily.
Grasp the rhythm of the plot well, and if you write about daily life well, why not write more about daily life, polish your writing, and don't make it super-expanding. The plot rhythm of this book has been messed up to a certain extent. In the next step, the Magical Girl Organization will be destroyed, and the earth will be blown up and the map of the universe will be blown up. I will be no exception. It will be such a mess.
Then there is the issue of character design. The characters of the two heroines are very classic, so it is not a big deal. Others have more or less problems. For example, the girl with a special ability named Chen came to you and used her superpower to control you, but later found out that her first impression was not good and she was still thinking, "What will happen to the leader if the contact fails?" Then wouldn't it be pure stupidity for you to use your superpower when you first come into contact? She also said she was confident in her own strength, but how much does she know about the heroine? This is the person the leader cares about. Where does she get her confidence? Anyway, I don't understand the meaning of this episode at all. The initial description of these girls gave people the impression that they were arrogant, conceited, capable, and ignorant villain cannon fodder. However, the characters later took a 180-degree turn. There is also the heroine's childhood shadow, what kind of witch factor, maybe you want to set up a foreshadowing? That's too stiff, the character is almost like an airborne character. It gives people the feeling of oh, this needs one person to do this, so let's do it. This kind of feeling.
If nothing else, if you are stubborn, you are right. After all, you are the author. But you definitely can't write it down like this.
If you don't want 2 stars, I will give you four stars to make you happy. If you really think your writing is very good, then just pretend that I didn't say anything. Anyway, you have four stars.
That's all.
How can I put it? It's like a bad Japanese magical girl game. The awakening is too sudden in daily life, and then the two have only been living for two days. The main mission comes too suddenly, and then Rose Dream appears too suddenly. It's like the feeling when you play a game and go crazy and skip the dialogue and then suddenly teleport you to a new map but you don't know what to do.
Let's be honest first. I also want to give 2 stars. There are some bright spots, so it's not worth one star. For example, the interaction between the two heroines. The daily life at the beginning is also quite interesting. It would be great to write more about daily life. But you didn't choose that. Starting from the emergence of the Magical Girl Organization, no, maybe the development of the plot before that was already incomprehensible. Just like the 2-star said, whatever comes suddenly, comes again. Thanks to Tomato, there will be many people who will give you good reviews without any brains, but I see that there are not many people who have given you reviews now. It's true that no one reads it. This is very telling, isn't it? Just one negative review can have such a big impact? Not necessarily. Grasp the rhythm of the plot well, and if you write about daily life well, why not write more about daily life, polish your writing, and don't make it super-expanding. The plot rhythm of this book has been messed up to a certain extent. In the next step, the Magical Girl Organization will be destroyed, and the earth will be blown up and the map of the universe will be blown up. I will be no exception. It will be such a mess. Then there is the issue of character design. The characters of the two heroines are very classic, so it is not a big deal. Others have more or less problems. For example, the girl with a special ability named Chen came to you and used her superpower to control you, but later found out that her first impression was not good and she was still thinking, "What will happen to the leader if the contact fails?" Then wouldn't it be pure stupidity for you to use your superpower when you first come into contact? She also said she was confident in her own strength, but how much does she know about the heroine? This is the person the leader cares about. Where does she get her confidence? Anyway, I don't understand the meaning of this episode at all. The initial description of these girls gave people the impression that they were arrogant, conceited, capable, and ignorant villain cannon fodder. However, the characters later took a 180-degree turn. There is also the heroine's childhood shadow, what kind of witch factor, maybe you want to set up a foreshadowing? That's too stiff, the character is almost like an airborne character. It gives people the feeling of oh, this needs one person to do this, so let's do it. This kind of feeling. If nothing else, if you are stubborn, you are right. After all, you are the author. But you definitely can't write it down like this. If you don't want 2 stars, I will give you four stars to make you happy. If you really think your writing is very good, then just pretend that I didn't say anything. Anyway, you have four stars. That's all.