The cultural shackles of favors, face, the value of peace, and the discipline of "behaving well" are like air, everywhere, shaping our behavioral patterns.
Seeing them clearly is not to criticize our culture, but to gain a kind of "consciousness".
Mastering the art of saying no gracefully is essentially a practice of self-empowerment.
It requires us to first have a clear understanding of ourselves—to know our values, to value our time, and to dare to draw our interpersonal boundaries.
The three core formulas introduced in this chapter—the "sandwich/Oreo rejection method" that is like an armor of warmth, the "principle rejection method" that establishes a personal beacon, and the "delayed decision-making method" that wins rational space—are not rigid dogma, but tools that empower us.
They complement each other and can be flexibly combined and used according to specific situations.
Learning to say "no" does not mean that we will become cold and isolated. On the contrary, it will enable us to say "yes" more sincerely and powerfully.
When we no longer passively cope with everyone's expectations, we can give our precious energy, enthusiasm, and love unreservedly to those we truly care about and the things we truly love. A clear, well-intentioned "no" is often more likely to win long-term respect and healthy connections than a false, forced "yes."
Reader comments
I am a good person who never refuses, cares about other people's opinions, and will always unconsciously make some behaviors that sacrifice myself to help others. I am very distressed about this. I don't know how to deal with it so as not to offend others and protect myself. After listening to this book, I feel much better.
It is a very good book. First, it is clearly organized and explains the various reasons why we cannot reject others in life, as well as the techniques and examples of rejection. Second, it is practical and can be used in all aspects of life. How to face this situation, so that you can refuse without hurting your feelings. Sincerely recommend [like]
Lots of talk but few solutions
Say "no" bravely and reject the other party with reason.
Recommended reading for young people who have just entered society. I hope we all know how to say "no". Cherish your time and energy. A passage I like very much: When a request is placed in front of you, stop thinking subconsciously, "Should I help him or not?" Please ask yourself like a savvy investor: "Is this thing worth the price I pay?"
Let me understand myself🥺
Good reading, good reading, good reading
Very practical in life and work
This book really made me feel that it was very well said and worth learning.
Very good. I originally thought it was pretty good after doing sales. But after reading it, I gained new insights and gave me a new way to refuse.
Very good, very good book, great
Very good👌🏻, easy to understand and unpretentious
I feel like it's so well written, and it's really realistic! Feel something
I am a good person who never refuses, cares about other people's opinions, and will always unconsciously make some behaviors that sacrifice myself to help others. I am very distressed about this. I don't know how to deal with it so as not to offend others and protect myself. After listening to this book, I feel much better.
It is a very good book. First, it is clearly organized and explains the various reasons why we cannot reject others in life, as well as the techniques and examples of rejection. Second, it is practical and can be used in all aspects of life. How to face this situation, so that you can refuse without hurting your feelings. Sincerely recommend [like]
Lots of talk but few solutions
Say "no" bravely and reject the other party with reason. Recommended reading for young people who have just entered society. I hope we all know how to say "no". Cherish your time and energy. A passage I like very much: When a request is placed in front of you, stop thinking subconsciously, "Should I help him or not?" Please ask yourself like a savvy investor: "Is this thing worth the price I pay?"
Let me understand myself🥺
Good reading, good reading, good reading
Very practical in life and work
This book really made me feel that it was very well said and worth learning.
Very good. I originally thought it was pretty good after doing sales. But after reading it, I gained new insights and gave me a new way to refuse.
Very good, very good book, great
Very good👌🏻, easy to understand and unpretentious
I feel like it's so well written, and it's really realistic! Feel something