Harry Potter fanfiction, everyday life + one female lead, original elements, debut author
Albert Wood, a hardcore nerd and science student who was sent flying by a truck, opens his eyes as a baby and is told he's in a magical world called Harry Potter? Help! He doesn't know a thing about the plot here! No System or golden finger? Fine. With an entire library of anime and video game knowledge at his fingertips, he treats Hogwarts like a massive immersive open-world RPG and figures out how to play as he goes:
Are spells just input commands? In Charms class, he tries adding a Wind Element buff to optimize the trajectory, only for the feather to smack right into his roommate's nose! Top student Hermione blows her top: “The wand movement! Do you even know the proper movement? I didn't tell you to form ninja hand signs!”
Magic? That's just an environmental parameter! Early one morning, he scribbles in the air: “Hmm, magic levels fluctuate at a peak in the early morning.” His roommate groans: “Genius! Give me a break! You're more soporific than Professor Binns's class!”
Mudblood means an error in the underlying logic! When Malfoy hurls that filthy word at Hermione, Albert jumps to his feet and tears the platinum peacock apart with a data-and-logic-based anime-style takedown: “Blood purity? Your algorithm can't even run Hello World! It's got enough bugs to raise a whole Forbidden Forest full of Acromantulas! Take it back to the factory and reformat it!” Hermione forgets her humiliation and stares wide-eyed at the analytical man standing in front of her. He's Muggle-born too, and beneath his cold logic lies burning empathy.
His Hogwarts survival journal has a style all its own:
Harry Potter: NPC with the “Child of Destiny” tag above his head. Health bar and aura strength unknown, monitoring in progress.
Give me some advice. It doesn't have to be the main line. You can write about daily life or small conflicts, or do some small crafts to relieve the tension of the main plot. From what I've seen so far, it feels like the protagonist is in a very tense mental state. Also, I think what the protagonist actually said should at least be understandable to readers. That is to say, find a few key nodes, and then when you talk about them, you can talk about them as settings. This way you don't have to make up cool-sounding words every time. For example, in the drama Chuunibyou also wants to fall in love, you can say some relatively specific words every time you talk about the setting. Then these words can be used as some memory points to attract people to read. Now my feeling is that every time I fight, I mutter something. Or if you want to make it more reasonable, you can create a unique border to make it sound cooler. It feels like magic chanting. Then use some fancy terms. For example, a certain demon, a certain abyss, something like obeying the call. However, the main shortcoming is that the plot is too rushed and the protagonist is too tense. Just like every time when Hermione encountered difficulties and wanted to sue the teacher, the protagonist would say that there was insufficient evidence to gain credibility. In this way, the protagonist will take everything on himself in the end. Made me nervous. I think we can write about some daily life or let Lao Deng give some small tricks to the protagonist, so as to provide some additional experience for the protagonist, and then supplement all aspects of the character's personality traits.
How can I put it this way? It felt like AI to me, which was a bit hard to watch. The writing was very cold and felt like a robot. The plot was okay.
Who is the single woman? It's like Hermione is the heroine, but she also looks a bit like Ron and Hermione 🤦
The plot is not bad, but the cheat method for the protagonist to obtain the path is a bit abrupt, but overall it is still good, keep up the good work