They say there's danger in following gossip, and you should be careful when watching from the sidelines. I never believed it before. Now I do.
My name is Li Nian. One second I was slapping the table in amazement over a shocking scandal involving a celebrity, and the next I was blasted out of existence by a bolt of purple divine lightning.
When I regained consciousness, would you believe it? I'd become a tree, the famous Ginseng Fruit Tree of the Primordial World, and had also been “installed” with a [Great Dao Gossip System]. I do rather like the System's motto: “As long as the gossip is juicy enough, even the Dao Ancestor gets a day off!”
Well, looks like I'm tied to the gossip business for life.
But there's one problem: Brother Monkey is about to come and chop me down!
To save my tree life, I spend “gossip energy” to grow [Fruit of Social Grace], hoping Qingfeng and Mingyue can win Brother Monkey over with love and turn hostility into friendship.
I never imagined the fruit would be so powerful. The two attendants get far too enthusiastic, treating Tang Monk and his disciples like royalty and even throwing open my orchard. With a grand wave of the hand, they say, “Holy Monk, don't be shy! Eat as much as you like, there's plenty!”
Me: ??? I just wanted you to make friends. How did you end up putting me on the buffet?!
Years later, with the sages of the Three Realms trembling in my “Daoist Friends Circle,” I wipe the fruit juice from the corner of my mouth and let out a satisfied, full-bellied burp.
Then I look up at the supreme Purple Cloud Palace and grin. “We've eaten all the gossip in the Three Realms. Next... it's time for...”
