Selling Dali on Doomsday Livestreams: I'm Really Not the Savior

Not traditional, no female lead, healing, hilarious stress relief, packed with memes. Read at your own risk. The apocalypse arrives. Everyone else kills zombies, but my zombies are doing the social shuffle! Lin Yi was livestreaming fake medicine sales on Mount Longhu when the apocalypse really hit. He also activated the [It's a Pig System], which specializes in binding neurotics with unresolved obsessions, even after death, as employees. Lin Yi: "Quick! Get in the car and run!" [The Daitouhu Driver] (deceased): "Roger! Daitouhu!" The beat-up pickup spins in place, stereo blaring. The zombies are so dumbfounded they can't even move! Lin Yi: "Clear the area! Hold back the zombie horde!" [The Funeral Love Clan's Dance King] (deceased): "Got it! I'm taking center stage!" The next second, hundreds of zombies move in perfect unison to the BGM in the town square: the social shuffle! Viewers around the world: "Holy crap! He's controlling the zombie horde with art? He's the Apocalypse Godfather!" The Yanhuang Bastion: "This guy is terrifying! He must be given the highest level of protection!" Lin Yi breaks down: "I'm really not the savior! I just want to survive. Can you employees act normal for once?!" System: "They're just 'personalizing' your instructions, dear~"