On a stormy night, poor bathhouse attendant Cui Fugui spends all 83 yuan he has on a leaky, pink, beat-up Cadillac.
The steering wheel suddenly lights up, and Kai Ye, the Northeastern AI, roars: [Reach the Jinhuang Club within 00:59:59! Reward: imperial foot massage + revenge fund!]
Just as mechanical arms jab into his soles...
His pain receptors mutate!
Bullets come flying, and he laughs: "You missed a spot on the left!"
A nuke hits him in the face? He soaks in a hot spring and complains, "Add a volcanic massage!"
The insectoid race offers him a tentacle spa, while rebellious orcs are pressed into footstools to be trampled for all eternity.
The entire universe discovers that making Cui Fugui "feel good" is the shortcut to conquest.
Refuse to serve? Kai Ye activates [Forced Enjoyment]...
A star-being twists in the psychic network: "Right away... a foot massage for you!"
At the bathhouse at the edge of the universe, a young version of himself, wearing a bath scrubber, kneels by the pool:
"Had enough? Time to get to work!"
As the birthmark on his sole burns, the truth tears open...
The ultimate pleasure is turning the universe to stone.
Now he forces all beings to sign the New Law of Pleasure:
"Service and being served must be balanced 1:1...
Or I'll scrub you to ashes with my own hands!"
[Win the Universe by Doing Nothing + Absurd Conquest]
"The pressure on the left side of the Milky Way is too light." Cui Fugui narrows his eyes.
Billions of battleships turn their cannons in unison: "Increase the stellar energy at once!"
Please help me, give me some advice.