My Old Things Have Become an Order

My name is Wang Sanpao, and I swear I'm just an ordinary person who wants to eat and die. But who knew those old rags in my family wouldn't agree! A urinal allows you to pee your pants in front of your future father-in-law, and a broken inkstone allows you to get up at three in the morning and compete with the dog next door to see who can finish the "Xinhua Dictionary" first. What else can I do? I can only curse "I'm done" while being the father and mother of these crazy "object orders". Don't ask me why, just ask to survive!