I was a Maoshan Taoist priest, forced to start livestreaming fortune-telling. My ID is “Little Taoist Never Talks Nonsense,” and my livestream has a distinctly unusual style:
- Viewer calls in: “Master, I’ve been losing money lately. Could I be cursed?”
- I make a quick calculation, secretly smearing cinnabar on my fingertips. “Your bed faces west, and west corresponds to metal. Your fire-heavy birth chart clashes with metal. Didn’t you leave your wallet at a hot pot restaurant last week?” (In reality, I heard the restaurant’s exhaust fan in the viewer’s background audio and spotted hot pot oil stains on the table.)
