Hard Work Pays Off? No, It’s All About Gaming the System

(Lovecraftian cultivation, no System, not invincible, not brainless, downplays the individual in favor of the group, urban fantasy, hilarious everyday life, a “peak” work of absurdity, with an unlucky, wisecracking protagonist)

After stumbling into a cult and being rescued, I was forced to become a civil servant. They said I had a special constitution and needed to “cultivate immortality scientifically.”

So I provide psychological counseling to panda spirits at the zoo, compare pectoral muscles with warrior monks at a temple, and use a rice cooker to concoct proper elixirs at a Taoist temple. Yes, even alchemy has to follow workplace safety regulations.

At a Deep Sea Church ritual, while the high priest chants incantations, I’m off in a corner filling out an “Abnormal Energy Fluctuation Report.” When the mad beauty of the Entropy Bell sect says she wants to hold a feast, I quietly calculate whether the event budget is over the limit. My roommate, a thrill-seeker from the Immortal-Worshipping Order, is always trying to drag me into trouble, so I respond by stuffing a copy of Five Years of Civil Service Exams and Three Years of Practice Tests into his hands. It wasn’t until one day, when the statue in my subconscious urged me in a dream to submit my application for permanent employment, that I realized: in this indescribable world, perhaps a civil-service post is the ultimate “fortification for the mind.” (Also known as: Cultivating Immortality in a Lovecraftian World, I Handle Compliance for Evil Gods, and My Daily Taoist Practice Is Far Too Scientific)