Hazbin Hotel: I Reported God for Reading My Messages and Replying Nonsense

[Female-oriented + no romance + cross-dressing + split personality + bipolar disorder]

[Hazbin Hotel, original character, please forgive the extensive OOC, mountains of headcanons, first-time author, and poor writing.]

A story about years of reporting God, only to have Him read your messages and reply with gibberish.

God’s love respects human free will, and Hell is the result of that respect...

Elias took the news that he had gone to Hell after dying pretty well. As long as he didn’t run into anyone he knew, life in Hell was quite nice. Just as he was settling down in Hell, sincerely believing in God and preparing to start a wonderful new life, his former partner, missing for seven years, knocked on his door.

Under pressure and temptation from a certain strawberry pimp who prefers to remain anonymous, Elias had no choice but to join the Hell Princess’s stupid-to-the-point-of-smoking redemption plan and become a resident of the Hazbin Hotel.

Elias: Which bastard told you my new address? Why do I still have so many damn problems after dying?

Alastor: [smile.jpg]

Samuel [alter]: (▼ヘ▼#)

Meanwhile, Erasmus, Heaven’s darling angel praised for having “the purest feelings,” overcame all opposition and became the head of Heaven’s embassy in Hell, all so he could reunite with his beloved older brother.

Erasmus: Big brother, big brother, big brother...

Elias: (busy filing reports, do not disturb)

Samuel: (▼皿▼#)

I will place My staff in your hands, and My spirit will descend upon you. You shall reveal God’s righteousness to those who ought to be saved, and let the fire of purgation cleanse the souls that have been saved but not yet made pure.