I Asked the Courtesan to Massage My Feet, and the Princess Climbed into My Bed

[Multiple heroines + traits + absurdity]

Li Su transmigrates into a fantasy world.

He listens to music at the pleasure quarters, gets his feet massaged by the star courtesan, and enjoys a wonderfully comfortable life.

Then a mysterious person throws open his bedcovers and kicks him away from the game he’s playing with the courtesan.

He’s force-fed a Heart-Eating Gu and will suffer the agony of ten thousand ants devouring his heart in a month!

Even worse, the person who fed him the Gu is a wanted fugitive!

Li Su: “Help! I’m just a lazy salted fish!”

At death’s door, he suddenly sits bolt upright. His System dad has come to the rescue!

Li Su gains some astonishingly powerful traits.

[Sudden Enlightenment]: You can enter a state of enlightenment that is ten thousand times more effective.

Li Su is thrilled. With a trait like this, won’t he be invincible?

But the traits he gets later leave him dumbfounded.

[Survive Against All Odds]: The harsher your surroundings, the more effective your cultivation.

[Beast Milk Lover]: Drinking milk makes you stronger. The more you drink, the stronger you get.

Li Su: “System, are you messing with me?”

“To get stronger, I have to go looking for ways to die and guzzle beast milk? Where’s a grown man’s dignity!”

But then, to stay alive...

Blessed grotto-heavens? Not going! Forbidden death zones? Now that’s the good stuff!

Heavenly treasures? Not interested! Never letting go of the baby bottle, glug, glug, glug!

While others cultivate, he courts death.

While others hunt for treasure, he drinks milk.

Things get increasingly bizarre...

Later, just as he finishes off a host of powerful enemies with a baby bottle in his mouth and prepares to settle the score with the mysterious person...

Wait! That “fugitive”... why are they dressed in a princess’s finery?

Did someone give him the wrong script?