Star Dome Railway: This Is the Moment to Ascend to the Gods

The description of Xianzhou [Yao Qing] is good, and I hope to add a little more plot to the War of Fertility. The plot doesn't focus on partying or anything like that. At most, you can look at the big work done by the boss in the game text. PS: Can the content and feelings in () be placed at the end of the article? It affects the perception a little bit [(not a listening party) personal opinion] Laijia: The content is only my personal opinion at the moment, based on limited cognition and information. It may be one-sided, omitted, and timely. It is not rigorous or authoritative. It does not constitute any suggestions, nor does it mean to force approval; the expression may be inappropriate, and the logic may jump out. It is not targeted at specific individuals, and please do not over-interpret it.

I hope that the things in brackets and the author's complaints can be reduced. These things greatly affect the perception. I strongly hope that the [Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like][Like]

The old polar bear is indeed well written, but I feel that Fei Xiao's role is a bit lacking.

Not bad, strong enough, and the logic is very clear, unlike some authors who write fanfics without even understanding the settings and characters [Like] In fact, it's quite speechless. This is Yangshizi and not other platforms that ask for money. If you can watch it for free, just enjoy it. And if you really feel that the content in the brackets is annoying, you can skip it, and I'm not forcing you to watch it [awkward laugh][awkward laugh]

The writing is actually okay, but you have too many parentheses, and many of the words are unnecessary. The arrangement is also very good. I suggest you go into the game to name more characters and information. I don't know if you have read them all before. Anyway, after you told me, you went back to the front and found that many of your posts were not deleted or changed. First, regarding the plot, I hope you won't be too deliberate and just let nature take its course. I think you want Feixiao to be a CP, right? It's fine, but don't deliberately create things like that. How to write it is up to you. I'm a bad reader and don't know how to write books. I can only give you some suggestions based on my experience of reading novels for more than ten years. Secondly, try not to do anything about the harem. The main reason is that it is easy for you to understand as a newcomer. In terms of plot, you have all kinds of things on your account, so don't create any intentionally limited plot. People nowadays are very tired from working during the day. If you don't let it go, your readers will explode if you abuse the plot. Third, I hope you can work hard. I want to witness the growth of a big boss with my own eyes.

The protagonist is a female, and she cps with Fei Xiaochu. . . I always feel like something is weird (The author seems to want to post the paragraph comment first in the text, leaving readers with nowhere to go! Those who like to read short reviews may find it okay, but those who want to read immersively will find it annoying) Come on, author! ! ! Bang bang ka bang! The protagonist is actually a man! (Why not Nan Niang? You see the characters dressed like this... Everyday madness jpg.

I think it's okay so far. I understand that you gave Star's highlight to Brolia, but I don't agree with your weakening Star and banning her life path of protection. If you give Brolia the stone and the Flame Spear to Star, wouldn't it be okay to put the highlights of them together? The Protector's combat power is not low in the plot. He is basically used in subsequent group fights. Banning the Protector is equivalent to giving Xing a big chop. Beautiful! Because I read too many fan works before, I almost vomited after reading the plot of Belloberg. I used King Crimson to read the novel, which led to misunderstanding of the author. Now I have changed my rating to apologize.

I feel like he is a new author who likes to interject in the text, but he still writes very seriously.

Well written, the type I like. Nowadays, there are too many people who follow the main plot of "Car and Water", and I really can't understand the meaning of writing articles by the author of the main plot of "Returning to Water". As long as I don't follow the car behind me, I can give this book 5 stars.

Although the author always inserts various complaints into the text, the information is very detailed and the writing is relatively smooth. It is recommended that the author saves the complaints until the end of the article and polishes it more, otherwise the spring water will flow eastward.

It would be better if the author had less self-promotion and explanation. It would be better if the author has something to say.

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Emm, it's okay, but as someone said before, the author's words too affect the perception.

*No, I can't help but complain. *Why do you call Fei Xiao Da Fei? It's too unfriendly to us Magic players. *The Great Unified Flying General Atria is also called Da Fei. *(Why are book reviews not allowed to post pictures?)

Nice! But there are too few general clips [eat melon] [eat melon] [eat melon]

The author has corrected the problem of too many brackets. You can rest assured that this problem is the only problem. The writing in other places is really good.

A good author, he will check the text in the game, it looks good

Ah! This, you deserve this five-star

It's a very good book, cheers to the author

Personally, I think the novel is quite enjoyable.

I just revised the article... (Vomiting soul) But someone asked me to add explanations to the text, otherwise it would be a little unclear... (Vomiting soul) After a second revision, most of the content that had nothing to do with the main text was deleted or moved into the author's remarks...

The author himself interjects a lot

The author adds what he said at the end and then adds what the author said at the end or doesn't add it at all. It's too influential.

It's pretty good, come on

A bit bumpy, but otherwise okay

Okay, please support me

It looks good. If you like it, come and see more.

So far so good

Not bad, keep up the good work, author [laughing]

It's quite interesting, you can watch it [Like].