This Is a Mask, Not My Face

It's okay, but I'd like to make some suggestions on details. 1. I hope the notes in parentheses can be integrated into the sentences, otherwise it will look a bit awkward, especially when listening to books. 2. There are several paragraphs of second person in the third picture. If you really want to write the second person, I hope it can be longer and divided into paragraphs at the same time. Otherwise, it may be a bit confusing if you read it quickly. 3. During the week-long special training, the protagonist "fell asleep in the nutrition warehouse" every night, and most likely did not go home for a week. Although it can be said that he said hello to his family by default, but it was not mentioned in the text, the reaction of his family after returning home was too normal, as if he went home normally every day, which conflicts with the previous training routine.

Nice! Love watching! Still want to see it!