Battle Through the Heavens: My Tribulation Failed, and Yun Yun Picked Me Up from the Start

The writing style is good, but too much description of facial expressions, psychology, and environment will make readers tired and hinder the advancement of the main plot. Later, we still need to pay attention to the appropriate details to give readers a better experience. This is a suggestion from a long time reader.

The story is quite good, but the writing style is uncomfortable to watch. There are too many excessive and repetitive descriptions and many inexplicable sentence breaks. I'm not saying that detailed descriptions are bad, but you don't need a long list of metaphors or other sentences to describe something simple. Just describe something as simply and concisely as possible and treat the reader like a fool. For example: "A round orb, about the size of a dragon's eye, floated quietly in his palm. That orb, half of it, is a sea of stars composed of cyan flames. The other half is flowing with gorgeous colorful rays of light, full of endless and vast vitality. Two completely different powers have reached a perfect balance in this small orb, where yin and yang work together, water and milk blend together. " I'm not a professional writer, and I don't read many books, but based on my experience in reading books over the years, maybe I can change it to: "A round orb about the size of a dragon's eye is suspended in the palm of his hand. Half of this orb is composed of a sea of stars made of cyan flames, and the other half is filled with brilliant colorful rays of light. These two completely different powers have reached a perfect balance of yin and yang, water and milk in this orb." In fact, this description has already been described in the synthesis chapter, so there is no need to repeat the description in too much detail [face-covering] I seriously doubt the purpose of hydrology [face-covering] In addition, the content related to the two classes of aura and fighting spirit in the previous article was not fully explained, and the description in the story seemed to be like the left and right brains fighting each other. Many readers also raised questions, although the author had a little explanation in his reply. But if I didn't write well in the beginning, people would have run away, and no matter how exciting the rest of the story is, no one will know about it 🤦 As for the female protagonist, according to the current plot, it may be better to write two female protagonists in the future.

It's good to have read Chapter 69 so far, just don't be a nanny for Xiao Huohuo. After all, the character written by the author is the protagonist in this book. Xiao Huohuo in the original book is protected by Dou Zun, and Dou Sheng's family also helps in the later period. In addition, the protagonist is equivalent to the help of Dou Emperor in Dou Po World, and it feels no different from the original work. Don't help with everything, just give me some pointers. I think it's okay. The protagonist in the next chapter will collect the alien fire. According to most plots, the protagonist will refine the alien fire or something will happen and he will give the alien fire to Xiao Huohuo for free. When you decide to use the alien fire to restore your strength, it's best not to make any move to compensate Xiao Huohuo. If you really have to help Xiao Huohuo, I think it's better to give some alien fire seeds and let Xiao Huohuo slowly warm up. Anyway, the protagonist is here in this world, and the Soul Emperor cannot make trouble. In addition, the author's book "The Law Should Not Be Transmitted Lightly" is very good! It's not about lovers, relatives, life and death, or Taoist friends. Little Finger Pointing to Xiao Huohuo is also wonderful, not that kind of nanny story!

Please give me one more chapter. I'm dying. Please brother. I feel like there are ants crawling on me. I feel like I'm shaking all over. I can't breathe. Please give me one more chapter. Just one more chapter. I'll never touch it again. Please brother. Really, just one episode. I swear I'll never touch this thing again. I really can't bear it anymore. Brother, please give me one more chapter. I'm dying. Please, brother. I feel like there are ants crawling on my body. I feel like I'm shaking all over. I can't breathe. Please, brother, just give me one more chapter. Just one more chapter. I'll never touch it again. Please, brother. Really, just one episode. I swear I'll never touch this thing again. I really can't bear it anymore.

Very good. Highly recommended. Better than other fanfics. I hope it will be a single heroine Yun Yun

Very worth watching

The subject matter is okay, but the way the content is expressed feels like an essay, which deviates a bit from the scope of a novel and makes it a bit tiring to read. However, the description of emotions and body movements is still good.

It's very interesting to read, and the author's writing is also very good. It's one of the best among Dou Po fandoms. The plot is slow-paced, and it should be considered semi-invincible. Come on.

Is the gap in combat power so big? "Comparable to the Five-Star Fighting Emperor." If you include his divine thoughts that far surpass those of the creatures in this world, as well as his countless unpredictable spells. "Six-star Dou Huang can also fight."

Very good, I have read the first few chapters, and the writing style is not inferior to that of Tudou. I will always stay with you.