Zhu Xiaochuan, a history professor and special forces soldier, transmigrated as the Chongzhen Emperor. The very first thing he saw was Wei Zhongxian smiling as he held out a strip of white silk.
“Ding! Tyrant System online. From toilet paper to cannons, we've got everything you need!”
He rubbed his pounding head. “First, get me a roll of toilet paper. My hemorrhoids are acting up.”
At court, he tore into the Donglin Party: “Numbers don't lie? I'll use statistics to make you eat your words!”
The imperial consorts treasured their rolls of toilet paper, while the aroma of hot pot filled the Qianqing Palace.
As Huang Taiji's forces closed in on the capital, Zhu Xiaochuan pulled out a flintlock. “Special forces training starts now!”
When the Portuguese envoy came to court, he was busy munching on chili sauce. “Colonization? No, this is a community with a shared future for humanity!”
