This Virus Can Make People Live Forever

[Absurdist Comedy] + [Off-the-Wall Humor] + [Cyberpunk Apocalypse] When Lin Yan’s left hand is infested by a bizarre, meme-loving System and his right hand begins to crystallize and mutate, he gets it: this apocalypse is all about the absurd! His teammates are even more ridiculous: the mechanical maniac Zhou Miao, whose ride, the Dawn, is closer to him than his own father; Ivan, the Ukrainian war god, whose faith is French fries; and Wu Qian, a data spin doctor who says “This is art” at every turn. And his System? Its daily barrage fills the screen: [You noob! You’re crystallizing! You’re so screwed!] To stay alive, the team plunges into the Abyss dungeon: • They encounter mutant barnacles, only for “The Most Dazzling Ethnic Style” to convert them into a square-dancing troupe! • They pick up a box of fries and discover it’s the key to starting an interstellar war! The System shrieks: [Damn! The fries have come alive!] • They face a cosmic-level BOSS, and the System instantly chickens out: [Host! Freeze it! If we can’t freeze it, let’s mail it to a black hole! Postage due!] In this wasteland, where even instant noodles made with nuclear wastewater count as a luxury, they write their own survival guide with outrageous stunts: When technology falls short, talk your way out; when firepower fails, let the fries lead! (A friendly reminder: Ivan’s crate of fries is on par with a nuclear weapon, Zhou Miao’s wrench is the cure for anyone who won’t behave, and Wu Qian’s “art” can make New Athens’ AI flee overnight with its servers on its back. As for Lin Yan, he’s working on putting the foul-mouthed System on mute.) The ultimate questions: Is there a French fry stand at the edge of the universe? Can a crystallized arm chill beer? And can this smart-mouthed System be pried out and stuffed into a fry box??? (The System’s barrage adds: [Finished writing the blurb? You noob! Remember to leave a five-star review! Otherwise, your next mission reward will be a box of expired ketchup!]