(An attempt at a different writing approach)
Others cultivate immortality by popping pills. I, Cai Zhen, can become invincible just by adding Cloud-Surface Big Shell!
As a wholesome young man of the new century, Cai Zhen has simple, unpretentious dreams: use his family's secret barbecue recipe, which includes the mysterious seasoning “Cloud-Surface Big Shell” (it makes everything insanely tasty!), to dominate the snack street, buy the shop as soon as possible, and become the bossy owner of Cai's Noodle Shop! He's sunny and helpful: he can carry ten gas cylinders for the neighborhood aunties, and when he builds a shelter for a stray cat, it turns into a luxury villa. He's a model citizen and a level-ten expert in being steady (a pushover).
However, his simple life is constantly disrupted by “accidents”:
A surprise inspection by the city authorities? He cranks up the heat, and the aroma of “Cloud-Surface Big Shell” shoots straight into the sky, nearly getting mistaken for a biochemical weapon! While packing up and running away, he steps right into an ancient cultivator's cave dwelling!
Thugs smash up his stall? In a panic, he grabs some “preservative technology” and scatters it like pepper spray. The “special-effects actor” across from him promptly performs a takeoff on the spot!
Dr. Lin, a knowledgeable researcher, comes to investigate his “folk recipe.” After tasting his bone broth, made with a “thickening wonder,” his eyes light up. “Student Cai, your molecular gastronomy is good enough for an SCI paper!”
Cai Zhen panics. “It's a misunderstanding! A complete misunderstanding! These are all legal food additives! Dr. Lin, help me come up with a scientific explanation!” Faced with all those strangely dressed people who claim to be “reclusive big shots” and beg him through tears to teach them how to grill skewers, all he can do is tremble and cry, “Bro, want a membership card? Barbecue is 20% off!” And then casually embed them in the wall as decoration.
