Laying Low in the Late Han Dynasty, I Get Dong Zhuo's Granddaughter Delivered to My Door

Fu Ping transmigrates into the Eastern Han dynasty as a nobody and binds himself to the Lie-Flat Sign-In System!

Dong Zhuo comes to propose an alliance through marriage: “Nephew, my granddaughter is a peerless beauty. How about marrying her?”

Fu Ping glances at his three-hundred-jin bulk. “Old Dong, is your granddaughter some kind of tank spirit?”

While the Liangzhou army is still dragging its feet, Fu Ping has already won Xu Huang over with hot pot. “Gongming, lamb is at its tenderest after eight seconds in the pot!”

Then he turns around and advises Dong Zhuo: “Forget fighting for the post of Governor of Jizhou. Luoyang is the true land of rising fortune!”

Old Dong is doubtful, but he has no idea Fu Ping has already predicted that Emperor Ling will die and He Jin will be hacked into mincemeat!

The Ten Attendants are executed, and Yuan Shao urgently summons Dong Zhuo to the capital. But Fu Ping is at home setting out a copper pot for hot pot.

“Old Dong, don't rush into the city! Stockpile provisions in Guanzhong first!”

Hua Xiong protests: “I am the mightiest warrior in all Liangzhou!”

Fu Ping tosses out a prophecy: “You'll get taken out by Guan Yu in three strokes!”

Hua Xiong drops to his knees in terror. “Save me, sir!”

As the eighteen allied warlords lay siege to the city, Fu Ping produces potatoes that yield a thousand jin per mu. “Old Dong, plant these!”

Three months later, the Liangzhou army feasts on meat stew at every meal, while the coalition forces gnaw on tree bark and curse!

Diaochan brings the dipping sauce, Cai Wenji tends the grinder, and Fu Ping reclines in a rocking chair, directing the world:

“Yuan Shao is strong on the outside but weak within, and Cao Cao will amount to something. As for you, Dong Zhuo...”

Old Dong kneels and begs to be carried to success. “Sir, do I still have a chance to become a loyal minister?”

Fu Ping takes a sip of wine. “Let's talk after your granddaughter gets down to a hundred jin!”

See how this happy-go-lucky man uses hot-pot diplomacy and god-tier sign-ins to tame Dong Zhuo into a loyal hound, and lie flat his way to winning at life in the Three Kingdoms!