If We’re Brothers, Stab Me

Strange tales pop up in the cultivation world every year, and this year it’s Qingmen Sect’s Ji Lingshui’s turn!

While others cultivate by meditating, popping pills, or comprehending the Heavenly Dao, Ji Lingshui refuses to follow the beaten path. Taking a beating is the only way! Extraordinary talent? A golden finger cheat? That’s right! But his cheat works a little differently: the more badly he’s injured, the faster he breaks through! The more people beat him up, the stronger he gets!

Poor Qingmen Sect. From the sect leader to his junior brothers and sisters, every last one of them has been driven to tears by his requests for “guidance,” and the training grounds are filled with wails every day. At last, amid the entire sect’s festive decorations and cheerful celebrations, they give this human “experience-point collector” and sect’s number-one jinx a “warm send-off.” Carrying the sect’s “heavy love” (the kind where a heart-protecting mirror can double as a shield), he sets off on the broad road to getting beaten up.

Barely down the mountain, Ji Lingshui sets his sights on Rao Sechen, a refined and gentle yet formidable wandering cultivator. After an attempted “heroic rescue” turns into a shameless bid for compensation, he successfully latches onto this walking “human experience pack.”

From then on, Rao Sechen’s travels take a sharp turn:

Trip on the roadside? Ji Lingshui is “deliberately staging an accident,” hoping for a vicious strike!

Old waist injury acting up? It’s the “torture” caused by a family-recipe medicinal liquor marked “use with caution,” and he’s asking for a spiritual-energy examination!

Sparring match? Ji Lingshui’s eyes light up: “Don’t defend yourself! Stab me! Harder!”

Gentle vines? Rao Sechen softly brushes them with his fingertips. “Want some stimulation? How about... this?”

And so begins an unconventional cultivation journey: one chases (begging to be beaten), the other dodges (refusing to hit him); one is willing to strike (but doesn’t), while the other is willing to take a beating (and really does).

This story has already become something completely different from what I originally had in mind. Enter at your own risk.

I hope it brings you all a laugh.