I'm Wu Dalang, the Bully of Yanggu County!

(Water Margin + System + multiple heroines + feel-good fiction + no cultivation)

I’m Wu Dalang. Because my brother Wu Song hurt someone, I was forced to flee my hometown of Qinghe County for Yanggu County. But disaster still found me, and I was implicated and thrown into prison. Yet misfortune turned to fortune: I unlocked the [War God System], and from then on, this old man came alive!

That old hag Wang Po played matchmaker and arranged for me to marry Jinlian. I’d planned to live a quiet life, but then some ruffians came knocking and forced me to show off my Overlord Spear technique. I beat those fellows until they howled like ghosts. From that day on, no one dared call me “Three-Inch Man, Valley-Bark Skin.” They all respectfully called me “Great God Nine-One”!

Even more astonishing, Ping’er, Chunmei, Gu Dasao, Sun Erniang, Hu Sanniang, Qiongying… every one of them was won over by me. Truly

A magic mushroom grows from a dung heap, and a jade qilin is tied to a donkey’s manger!