This is the first time I wrote it. It's too watery and I don't need to read it. I just treat it as a souvenir. The new version has been revised. It is in another book. It can be said to be a major revision.
(Transformation) (Changing marriage) (Dragon Lady) (There is rebirth) (There is time travel) (Mainly female protagonist. The male protagonist writes less than the female protagonist) (Double Awakeners) (A combination of Eastern and Western)
When the spiritual energy collapsed ten thousand years ago, the family of immortal cultivators used secret methods to carve out a small world to survive; tens of thousands of years later, the arctic cracks tore the sky, and Yang Lin, a sophomore boy, opened his eyes in severe pain. The dragon's horns pierced his scalp, and his silver tail tore the mattress. The girl's face reflected in the mirror was strange yet familiar. What's even more surprising is that the roommates simultaneously staged fantastic changes: Zhou Yan changed his nature and sprouted flame wings from his back, while Wang Hai, who always loved playing with thunder and lightning, had a mysterious color hidden in the lightning at his fingertips.
She is not only the spiritually awakened Oriental Wood Dragon Lady, but also the first double-awakened person in history. The "Cuiyuan Nine Dragon-derived Spiritual Beads" suspended in her palm can absorb nine types of spiritual energy. The shadow of the silver-haired girl in the dream, the power of the five major families, and the sleeping wooden spirit seal in the secret realm of Nanshan are all revealing the ancient secrets deep in the bloodline.
Li Xuan, the genius of the reclusive immortal cultivating family, came with a sword, and the third young master of the Wang family protected him with wind and thunder. After the transformation, Yang Lin reached the pinnacle through the dual cultivation of plant manipulation and the spiritual energy in the beads.
Reader comments
After reading dozens of chapters, I think there are two small problems that need to be paid attention to. The first is that the paragraphing is not very good. The paragraphs written are either very long or very short. It is recommended to change it to a paragraph of about 3 to 5 rows, so that it looks smoother. The second is the aspect of character description. The character description is too simple. Only one aspect is described at a time. For example, when the character is moving, he only moves, and when he talks, he only talks. Moreover, I have basically not seen any descriptions of expressions and expressions at present, which look too stiff. When describing a scene, you can write from several aspects, such as action and language, expression and language, etc., And the characters will be richer. Of course, this is just my humble opinion. If you think what I said is wrong, then I am wrong. Finally, for this book, I also hope that the author can write better and better, after all, the subject matter is also very suitable to my taste.
Except for the dialogue that sometimes has some problems, everything else is good. There should be typos or other minor issues in the dialogue. If there are a few correct words, it will be more fluent to read. It will be a good article. The system and world view are all mentioned, and it will not seem abrupt. I beg the author to correct the typos in the dialogue [blowing kisses]. I have only read a dozen chapters and I have seen too many dialogue problems. I hope the author will be aware of it and correct it. If possible, he will also correct the previous ones. If it is really not possible, it will be fine if there are few future chapters without such problems.
A book about a loli girl that satisfies [admiration] or transforms. The author writes it well.
I always feel a little panicked, but I have no evidence [laughing evilly][laughing evilly][laughing evilly]
The name Yang Lin has a psychological impact on me, that is, there is a person named Yang Lin in my English book. Also, in the story, the word "said" should be added after someone speaks, otherwise you won't be able to hear clearly who is speaking during a real person reading.
Can the author stop updating? Every time I see something good, I stop updating [crying][crying][crying]
It's a bit abstract, but it's okay [eating melon]
Not bad, who is the male protagonist?
Okay, okay, a novel written by this writer
I hope it won't break down, I think it's very promising [laughs evilly]
Except for some problems with the character dialogue and a lot of typos, I think it's good and I hope it can be corrected [Chigua]
Good looking, love to see more
Very good, I like it very much
Give the author a good review and don't run away [blowing kiss][blowing kiss][blowing kiss]
After reading dozens of chapters, I think there are two small problems that need to be paid attention to. The first is that the paragraphing is not very good. The paragraphs written are either very long or very short. It is recommended to change it to a paragraph of about 3 to 5 rows, so that it looks smoother. The second is the aspect of character description. The character description is too simple. Only one aspect is described at a time. For example, when the character is moving, he only moves, and when he talks, he only talks. Moreover, I have basically not seen any descriptions of expressions and expressions at present, which look too stiff. When describing a scene, you can write from several aspects, such as action and language, expression and language, etc., And the characters will be richer. Of course, this is just my humble opinion. If you think what I said is wrong, then I am wrong. Finally, for this book, I also hope that the author can write better and better, after all, the subject matter is also very suitable to my taste.
Except for the dialogue that sometimes has some problems, everything else is good. There should be typos or other minor issues in the dialogue. If there are a few correct words, it will be more fluent to read. It will be a good article. The system and world view are all mentioned, and it will not seem abrupt. I beg the author to correct the typos in the dialogue [blowing kisses]. I have only read a dozen chapters and I have seen too many dialogue problems. I hope the author will be aware of it and correct it. If possible, he will also correct the previous ones. If it is really not possible, it will be fine if there are few future chapters without such problems.
A book about a loli girl that satisfies [admiration] or transforms. The author writes it well.
I always feel a little panicked, but I have no evidence [laughing evilly][laughing evilly][laughing evilly]
The name Yang Lin has a psychological impact on me, that is, there is a person named Yang Lin in my English book. Also, in the story, the word "said" should be added after someone speaks, otherwise you won't be able to hear clearly who is speaking during a real person reading.
Can the author stop updating? Every time I see something good, I stop updating [crying][crying][crying]
It's a bit abstract, but it's okay [eating melon]
Not bad, who is the male protagonist?
Okay, okay, a novel written by this writer
I hope it won't break down, I think it's very promising [laughs evilly]
Except for some problems with the character dialogue and a lot of typos, I think it's good and I hope it can be corrected [Chigua]
Good looking, love to see more
Very good, I like it very much
Give the author a good review and don't run away [blowing kiss][blowing kiss][blowing kiss]
Very interesting, good luck to the author