The Qingming Immortal Clan: The Yun Family

I just finished reading the latest chapter, I have some minor issues but it's still readable. The protagonist, Goldfinger, is very rough in his explanation. It is recommended to improve it slowly during planning or later. For example: Alchemy, there is basically no description in the later stage of the training period. You need to combine the above and below to make a rough guess. For example, the fire control skills of alchemy are basically invisible. In addition to the spiritual root test, it is recommended that the open-air test be followed by formations, secret rooms and other external objects. In the later stage of the "enhanced version of the Rejuvenation Technique", you can consider spiritual planting. After all, it is the character of an alchemist. Speaking of character design, I don't know if I have taken into account the time travel and some modern concepts. It is recommended that one or two visits in the early stage are enough. Try not to write down such psychological activities later. Too much will conflict with the decisive killing. There is also a plot, regarding the death of clan members, the previous patriarchs and uncles can understandably pave the way for the protagonist's psychological growth, but later the sect was destroyed, and the death of "Shui Mu"'s twin spiritual roots felt like there was no point in killing the plot. In addition, the protagonist was given a means to save his life. There was also a paragraph describing the unity, love and mutual help of the clan members. The following was directly offline, which was too unexpected. Personally, I think that if you join the sect, you are no longer a member of the family, so it is one of the best ways to log out quickly, but. The above is a contradiction. Finally, I suggest that the protagonist's spirit body be more comprehensive. So far, it is a bit single. For example, one of the fighting scenes is very passive when it encounters fire. I wrote this without realizing it. I look forward to the surprises after daily updates, and try not to interrupt updates. If the author has irresistible reasons to give up, please send the outline and let me know the follow-up. Of course, I hope to write down the fairy tale in your heart.

I just hope that the protagonist's weapon is not a sword. There are too many novels that use swords.

Friends, my family's cultivation of immortality has always been my favorite. I hope I can write a story that everyone will like. At present, I feel that the adventure I have written is okay. I hope everyone likes it. 😄

You can watch it, it's okay

Very good, clear logic, good character creation 👍 👍 👍