The Daily KPI Grind of the Outlaw Cat and the Angel Girl

Gulp, this really is beyond saving.

Synopsis:

The Orange Cat, the undisputed king of slacking off atop Wind City Tower. Daily tasks: pad his KPIs, pick fights with angels, and refuse to be a hero.

Angel, an angel obsessed with KPIs. Daily tasks: trick the Orange Cat into working, make grand promises, and flee faster than anyone else.

Miss Red, formerly known as “Ketchup.” After her AI art generator kept producing condiment bottles, she angrily changed her username. Daily tasks: release cryptic lore expansions, get interrupted by the Orange Cat, and watch the world go mad with a cold stare.

One day, a young man who’d lost all hope leaped from the top of the tower and died very thoroughly. The Orange Cat and Angel both reached out at the same time, but neither saved him.

Angel: “He’s beyond saving. Let’s wait for him to come back as a zombie. Bye!” (She flees at the speed of light.)

The Orange Cat: “Meow, people can come back from the dead these days?”

Miss Red (releasing an expansion): “According to the data, he’ll become a new type of aberrant…”

The Orange Cat (smashing the projection with one paw): “Speak plain English!”

Miss Red: “…He’ll rise from the dead, and he might be pretty strong.”

The Orange Cat (smiling sweetly): “Not my problem.”

In the age of great memory implants, cats don’t save people. They just watch the show.

(Cursed factor: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | Comedy factor: 🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱) Obviously fake

#LightheartedComedy #WildImagination #Transformation #Invincible

Change my tags and my traffic drops to zero. I don’t even get any points