Arknights: Lobotomy's Journey to Terra

The future is promising, which means that after all the writing is completed, the writing style will be at a normal level, and there are some jokes. However, there are a few issues that should be corrected. The first is not to write two volumes at the same time. Readers have to flip back and forth while reading. Some developments cannot be explained clearly in the general timeline. The author is also prone to time confusion when writing. Some suddenly think that they can only write the first thing, which will conflict with the later ones, and it is easy to send the wrong volume. My suggestion is to finish the first volume first and then write the second part. The second point is to describe the impact of the city on the protagonist. Even if the psychological description of the constant advancement at the beginning is a bit of a joke, but if the protagonist really thinks that way, it is unlikely that there will be no goalless thoughts later, and there will be no possibility other than being defeated due to lack of strength. The third point is to try to put some brackets in the author's words, and try to integrate the important ones into the text. Some words that have nothing to do with the book can affect the perception. Summary: A sandwich bread made by an apprentice can be eaten. It has a hollow texture but good taste. There is a lot of room for improvement and it is still far from the master.

Little Rabbit's brother, come on!

The plot is quite good, but what about the writing? You can try to use less questions and words, and try to use other ways to make transitions. The language description will be better and not so rigid.

Hmm~~ninety-nine layers of rare things

Come on, author, do your best!