I Sell Cars Better Than Yadi, but I'm Not Didi's CEO

Lighthearted + hilarious + meme-filled + absurd After transmigrating to a parallel world, he awakens a Black-Hearted Sales System. [Streamer, if you can find me a job, I’ll buy a car right away!] Jiang Zhe: “Buy a car and get a job! You can start as soon as you drive it off the lot!” After driving away in their new cars, customers stare at the extra [Didi Driver] app on their phones, lost in thought. Jiang Zhe: “Hey, don’t go yet, boss. I’ll call a ride with you after work!” [Wait, other people charge 2,000 for a class, but you’ve split one class into 24 sessions and charge 800 per session?] Jiang Zhe: “Our sessions include the ‘Defending Your Dignity Course,’ the ‘Counter-Surveillance Psychology Course on Hiding Your Secret Savings,’ and the ‘The Coincidence of My Best Friend and Me Both Being Useless’ psychology analysis course...” Customer: “Enough talking. I’ll buy them all...” [Streamer, people over in the States hardly use gas cylinders. You’ll never sell them!] Jiang Zhe: “Hey! I’ve got a great idea!” A few days later, everyone sees on the news that people in the States are turning gas cylinders into makeshift mortars, with Jiang Zhe’s phone number clearly printed on them. Years later, Jiang Zhe sits at a job fair, looking at the many bosses in attendance. “Everyone, we can begin the interviews now.” As soon as Jiang Zhe finishes speaking, the bosses below start clamoring over one another. “Salesman Jiang, come work in sales for us!” “You’re only one of the top 500 companies in the country, and you think you can compete with us for talent?!” “Hmph! What a waste of talent! Salesman Jiang belongs with us!” “Damn it, let’s settle this! I’d like to see who dares try to poach Salesman Jiang from me!!!”