I, Tang Sanzang, Am Here to Deliver You

Go back and tell the Tathagata to step down and give me his throne. Tell him to choose me as the boss of Spirit Mountain.

My name is Tang Sanzang. Everyone says I bury Heaven, bury Earth, and bury all living beings. I’m in a good mood today, so I’ll teach you a little Buddhist doctrine. If you don’t understand it, I also know a thing or two about fighting.

My eldest disciple is Sun Xingzhe, my second is Zhu Bajie, and my third is Sha Wujing.

Don’t be afraid. It’ll hurt a little at first, but I’ll send you on your way to the afterlife right now.