How does a hopelessly dense man survive three thousand years of being hunted over old romantic entanglements?
When Chu Chen is stabbed through the heart by his ninth ex-girlfriend, he finally remembers the tiny print beneath the System’s “Immortality Deluxe Pack”: The Heavenly Dao reserves the right of final interpretation.
It all began when he transmigrated. Other people transmigrated into a life of fine wine and beautiful women; the moment he arrived, he was saddled with a knockoff System. After granting him an absurd self-healing ability, the thing calling itself a “Cultivation System” immediately crashed, leaving him stranded in a martial world for five hundred years.
Then one day, the crashed System suddenly sprang back to life.
The entire martial world changed overnight: Zhang Wuji became a Daoist priest, while Linghu Chong’s Nine Swords of Dugu somehow turned into a square-dance sword routine. Even worse, the Emei junior sister, the Empress of Qingqiu, and the demonic-cult enchantress he’d flirted with and abandoned over the years suddenly formed an “Avengers Alliance” and descended from the heavens, wielding blades forty meters long.
“Didn’t we promise to watch the meteor shower together?” The icy beauty of a sect leader pressed the Heaven-Reliant Sword to his throat.
“You said you’d plant me ten miles of peach blossoms!” The Empress of Qingqiu shook a sack of venomous insects.
“Hah. Men.” The Holy Maiden of the Demonic Sect snapped her fingers, and three thousand death warriors raised their torches in unison.
Chu Chen clutched his hair, hacked down until it looked like a mop, and swore he’d only ever wanted to give every girl a home! Now he couldn’t even call the world his home: wanted posters bearing his name covered the Myriad Worlds. From the martial world to the immortal realms, the bounty hunters just kept getting more outrageous. Yesterday it was the Scarlet Witch, armed with the Darkhold; today, even a cybernetic heroine carrying quantum weapons had shown up.
To be honest, there is no low point in the protagonist's life and readers are like drinking warm boiled water! Add some seasonings and it's called rice, and boil the beans in water and it's called rice! Everyone knows how to cook, but cooking is different.
Why are you writing such a mysterious thing [cover your face]? It's not popular. Please speak plainly.