This story contains a lot of toilet humor. Read at your own risk!!! Don't read while eating!!
[Double transmigration + secret identities]
"Other people transmigrate and become empresses. I transmigrated and got stuck scrubbing toilets and emptying chamber pots."
Office worker Fang Xiaoxiao opened her eyes to find herself a lowly night-soil maid in ancient times. Every day, she had to empty dung buckets and scrub chamber pots, all while enduring the advances of a spoiled young master.
She planned to keep her head down until retirement, until
The aloof and elegant Chancellor Xie stared at the chamber pot she'd just scrubbed and suddenly chuckled. "That's spotless... Would you care to come scrub for me at my residence, miss?"
Xie Linyuan, the most sinister power broker of the new dynasty, appeared gentle and refined, but kept a copy of Five Years of College Entrance Exams and Three Years of Mock Exams hidden in his study. He marked memorials with "Read, no reply."
He had already recognized her as a fellow transmigrator, but watched her coolly as she:
Put on an ancient-style concert called "Shovel Shit on the Wall";
Used Excel to manage a brothel's accounts;
Taught beggars to sing "The Lonely Warrior" to beg for alms;
Chugged poison as if it were milk tea...
"Had enough of the act?" He cornered her outside the latrine. "Fellow 21st-century native, why do you look so much like someone I used to know?"
"My lord, are... your eyes all right?" she asked, her voice trembling. "I still smell like dung."
He smiled down at her. "No matter. I like a girl who's... practical and hardworking."
"From the dung pit to the imperial throne, I didn't get here with a Mary Sue halo. I got here because the chancellor... is hopelessly lovesick!"
