Yuan Shao held up his phone as he galloped at full speed, shouting into the camera, “My brothers, double-tap for 666! Watch me capture Gongsun Zan alive!”
Gongsun Zan was gasping for breath as he ran ahead. When he looked back, he was so furious he nearly spat blood. Yuan Shao wasn't even in a hurry to cut him down. Instead, he was adjusting his phone angle, afraid he wouldn't capture footage of his own dashing pursuit!
Yuan Shao: “Gongsun Zan, slow down! I haven't got a shot of your face yet!”
Gongsun Zan: “???”
Cao Cao stood atop his war chariot, holding his phone high and striking his most imposing pose for the camera. “Everyone, today I'll be performing ‘Setting Ye City Ablaze.’ If we hit a hundred thousand likes, I'll slaughter the whole city!”
The soldiers charged forward carrying siege ladders, but Cao Cao suddenly called a halt. “Wait! Don't attack the city yet! I haven't turned on my beauty filter!”
Deputy General: “My lord, a chance in battle can vanish in an instant!”
Zhuge Liang and Zhou Yu started livestreaming at the same time. Standing by the river with their phones raised, they shouted into the camera, “My brothers, today we'll perform ‘Setting Red Cliffs Ablaze.’ If we hit a million likes, we'll burn Cao Cao's entire million-strong army to ashes!”
Zhou Yu: “Kongming, you stand on the left and I'll stand on the right. It'll look more impressive on camera!”
Zhuge Liang: “Great! Remember to turn on the filter, or the flames won't look red enough!”
