Kidnap Tang Sanzang, and Sun Wukong, Yang Jian, and Nezha Fight Over the Western Scriptures

“Yangzi! Zhazai! Should we rebel?”

Sun Wukong, Yang Jian, and Nezha: the three most rebellious troublemakers in Heaven have finally decided to team up and do something big!

They waste no time heading off to wreak havoc in the Heavenly Palace, turning it upside down. The Jade Emperor is so furious his beard is bristling, while the Buddha is beside himself with worry.

“Once we pull this off, I’ll be Buddha. Yangzi, you can be the Jade Emperor.”

“What about Nezha?”

“Why not make him the Queen Mother?”

“...”

But the old men in Heaven say that if they want to be in charge, they have to follow procedure: go down to the mortal realm, undergo tribulations, and rack up enough work experience.

Fine, fine. They just have to make up some tribulations, right?

To get through them efficiently, they simply kidnap Tang Sanzang, the project manager of the journey to the West, and force him to join the team.

“Amitabha. These three are worse than demons.”

“Enough blathering. Want us to deep-fry you like a cicada pupa?”

Along the way, the heaven-defying crew throws their weight around, beating up demons and picking fights with immortals.

The Buddha and the Jade Emperor? Aren’t those two old fossils just waiting to be forced into retirement?

Tang Sanzang? Isn’t he just the pack mule carrying the luggage?

So you’re the White Dragon Horse? Don’t think you’re getting away just because I know your cousin Ao Bing! Turn into a Maybach. Chop-chop.

Three Battles Against the White Bone Demon? That definitely counts as three tribulations!

Oh! My big brother, the Bull Demon King, is here! He still has to plow two acres before he leaves!

Nine-Headed Lion, Nine-Headed Worm? Hahaha! Hand over your phone. Let’s see if I can max out all nine of your credit cards.

Sun Wukong: “Are there any demons around? Come capture Tang Sanzang! Eat his flesh and live forever! Don’t just think about it, do it!”

Tang Sanzang: “Demons, run! The three-man gang is here!”

Are you ready? Heaven-defying crew, move out!