“Wait, I told you to go down the mountain and subdue demons. Why did you capture them all to work as masseurs? I’ve heard of forcing women into prostitution, but never demons.”
“What do you mean, forcing demons into prostitution? We’re a completely legitimate foot massage parlor. And all our masseurs are 100 percent wild, with no additives and no harmful side effects.”
“Our No. 8 masseur is a demon with both ice and fire spirits. She commands water and fire, channels their energy, and regulates the body’s internal organs to prevent illness and keep evil at bay...”
“Our No. 9 masseur is a nine-tailed fox spirit, skilled in enchantment and dream manipulation. She can turn the unreal into reality. She can help people with mental illnesses, bringing those with autism out of their homes and helping those with depression learn to love life...”
“Our No. 66 masseur is a thousand-year-old tree spirit with the power to make dead wood bloom again. She can make an old man young again and restore an old woman’s beauty...”
“Our No. 88 masseur is a thousand-year-old tiger demon with a virility-restoring technique, the true savior of the timid...”
[Dear readers, what are you waiting for? Come on in and be among the first to try us!]
