The Fruit Trees I Grow Bear Gods

The world has become a playground for monstrous beasts. The Eastern gods have vanished en masse, while the Western gods have become humanity's saviors. The Western Divine Church raises the banner of salvation, but secretly keeps human prodigies as sacrificial food for ferocious beasts. Lin Fan awakens an F-rank trash ability, [Master Fruit Cultivator], yet somehow grows three “Divine Fruits.” [Ding! Your Nezha Fruit is ripe. Please collect it.] He looks at the three “Calabash Brothers” hanging from the tree: Red Calabash Nezha, who rides his Wind Fire Wheels and burns down my vegetable patch, Blue Calabash Yang Jian, who uses his third eye to spy on the women's bathhouse, and Golden Calabash Sun Wukong, who uses his Golden Cudgel as a selfie stick. Why are all the Eastern gods this generation a bunch of problem children?! As a fruit farmer certified by the Western Divine Church as “human-shaped fertilizer,” Lin Fan's biggest daily headache isn't growing crops: “Nezha! Stop using Samadhi True Fire to roast the Pope's pigeons!” “True Lord Erlang, control your dog! It hung the Holy Son's underwear from the bell tower!” “Great Sage... that's Zeus's statue, not the Five-Finger Mountain! Put the Sea-Calming Needle away!” Amid the apocalyptic lie that the gods have fallen, he has grown the spark that will slay them.