Collapse of Iron************

Finally, I saw a story that purely tells the story of Kiana and the others. Don't stop updating. Seeing such a cute Qi Bao being loved by everyone will be very touching. Qi Chu cried hard [almost cried]

To put it nicely, the writing is too detailed, but to put it badly, it's unnecessary to take off your pants and fart. There are too many descriptions, rhetoric, and adjectives, and many meanings are repeated. Is it necessary? If there are too many words but not enough, it will feel cluttered. A meaningless action or scene has to be decorated with dozens or hundreds of words, giving the impression that it is not a novel but a composition. All kinds of piling up are flashy and unrealistic. There are thousands of words in one chapter and less than 200 dialogues, which are all meaningless descriptions. I read the first 11 or 2 chapters slowly and skipped through them, and there were some mistakes in details. Wrong, the number of words in one sentence is wrong. I just finished writing the previous paragraph and wrote the next paragraph again. I almost thought the author had studied in a female channel. It felt like he could only describe the hair follicles of the characters while chatting. There were some things that were unclear about priority. The main perspective was Kiana and the others before the time travel. They were basically on the train crew behind them.

It's hard to stretch. There are too many AIs. It's not something but something that can appear 7, 8 or even a dozen times in a chapter. Just try it every one or two sentences. It will be much better if you polish it yourself. The idea is good, but AI is really difficult to stretch [face covering] [face covering]

She was fast on her feet - not "trained" fast, but "instinct" fast. Her body suddenly dwarfed - not a fall, but a slide The crushed ice shattered under the impact of the metal stick, but not "into powder" - but "into sharp, blade-like fragments." The knees of the Void Trample are bent. Not a "bent" bend, but a "joint-pierced" bend. I'm exhausted from reading the middle three pages of Chapter 11. Brother, there are five paragraphs in total. This sentence pattern is used four times, and it's not just in this one place. From the beginning to the present, there are several places like this in every chapter. The more I read, the more awkward and uncomfortable I am [face covering]

The subject matter is very good and the opening chapter is also very good. The backend is too watery, it's nonsense literature, it greatly affects the viewing experience, there is too much nonsense. I can't keep watching even if I want to [cover face][cover face][cover face]

It's quite interesting, but the original plot can be written a little shorter. A lot of the content is almost the direction of the original plot. There is no need to write it in such detail [face covering]

The idea is very good, but the AI ​​polishing is a bit exhausting. The whole article is full of "not but", or "what" or "what". The repetition is too high. It appears seven or eight times in one chapter [face covering]. The author can polish it a few more times to reduce the repetition rate.

There are some clouds and wordiness in many places. There is also a problem with the settings. The image and character of the Kiana trio are exactly as they were just after the finale of the first part. Especially Bronya and Mei Yi, they can't see the maturity and stability after eight years, which is too awkward.

How to say it? The author should really upgrade the AI ​​or polish it by hand. The ever-present gorgeous and even greasy vocabulary still affects the perception too much, but I have to say that it is indeed well written and the setting can be said to be well grasped. At least the combat power of the Yusan family is well controlled. It is a good story. However, the piling up of vocabulary affects the perception. Is the author considering writing a few chapters by hand to see the effect?

At first glance, Ding Zhen determined that it was an AI article. He did not proofread and polish it himself, and frequently used the description method "not but". It was like a primary school student and a junior high school student who had no words when writing an essay. He probably wrote a plot description himself and then asked the AI ​​to write ten thousand words. Moreover, there is too much written about the original plot. There are three chapters in a row that are purely about the original plot of the game, and they are all nearly 10,000 words long. Why don't I go through the main plot again when looking at the plot of the game? Everyone came in to see Kiana Mei Bronya, not to read the game text.

It was still fine before I came to Star Iron. After I came to Star Iron, was it written in AI? Isn't it a big change?

The writing is okay, but could the author use less of it? It's not XX's like this, but YY's like that. This is a wonderful metaphor. Originally there was only one sentence, but it was written into several sentences. Once or twice is fine, but it appears on almost every page. I wonder if the word count is too low. Even if it is a low word count, can I use more ways to change it? Otherwise, reading too much will make people feel that nothing has been written.

The front part is okay, but the back part is a bit watery. I can clearly explain it in one or two sentences. Why do I have to say one sentence first and then explain it for a long time? It's a bit annoying to write too much. I hope I can improve it. I don't have to always write one action and then another. It's not... It's... Something like this. After a long article, only one point is actually new content. More than half of the page is explained about what this action is, which is very tiring. 😓

The plot is okay, but there are too many descriptions, especially the description of expressions. The parts that can be omitted are always added to the description. Just write down what expression it is. It is necessary to write down what the expression means and what state the expression is. It is really too much description. An action can tell you what state the action is and what the meaning of the action is.

It's a bit AI, and I may not like the narrative style. I feel that the detailed descriptions of a lot of nonsense and long paragraphs can be reduced. The text layout effect is average. The plot is too long and the content that could have been written in one piece has to be dragged to several pieces, and the progress is too slow.

Yusanjia is delicious, delicious [love]

The plot is not bad, but the AI's nonsense is a bit too much. You have to find the main plot from a lot of nonsense [face covering]

The sea, you are all water

It's pretty good. It's pretty good for novices.

If it is too detailed, it will be troublesome to read. There are many sentence patterns such as "It is not the xx of xx, but the

The plot flows smoothly and the writing is naturally really great.

So delicious, teacher

Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

It's pretty good, but there's a lot of nonsense. It would be much better if I changed it. There are more than a dozen of them on one page, not "but".

I think it's well written, but why are there so few clicks?

The writing is really good. The friendship between the three little ones (to be determined) is well described and very warm.

It's very well written. I like it very much. The author especially likes to use "not" but "but" to describe some things.

To be honest, aren't Zhong Yanqi's eyes the same color as the stars? Why blue?