From the Start, I Weld Tongtian's Biyou Palace Shut

[Warning! Yuanshi Tianzun’s 99th request to split up today has been rejected.]

Xuan Chengzi stares at today’s “Unity and Responsibility Pledge” from the Three Pure Ones’ Palace, lost in thought:

✧ Install surveillance cameras on Laozi to keep “governing through non-action” from turning into “slacking off through non-action”

✧ Turn the blueprints for the Immortal-Slaying Sword Formation into the Complete Guide to Brotherly Harmony Formations

✧ Use Kunlun Mountain’s spiritual ley lines to weld Tongtian’s Biyou Palace foundation firmly in place

As the Primordial World’s bigwigs gradually lose their minds:

Zhunti blocks the door with his “Western Talent Recruitment Plan”: “Thinking of switching sides? You can start as deputy leader!”

Nuwa clutches the Demon-Summoning Banner and cries: “The Demon Sect needs an academic affairs director!”

Haotian the Jade Emperor begs on his knees: “Fellow Daoist, can you train the Twelve Golden Immortals to become Heavenly Court civil servants?”

Meanwhile, Xuan Chengzi’s outrageous schemes keep escalating:

◆ Use the Four Immortal-Slaying Swords to build Laozi a fully automated alchemy production line

◆ Turn the Investiture of the Gods into the Mystic Sect KPI Assessment Form

◆ Make Jieyin try the DingTalk Attendance System for Achieving Sainthood

Until the day of the Investiture of the Gods calamity:

Yuanshi chases Tongtian with the God-Thrashing Whip: “We agreed this was just for show. How did your grand-disciple actually end up on the Investiture of the Gods?”

Tongtian operates the Immortal-Slaying Wi-Fi tower: “It’s all because of the Live-Streaming Your Tribulation Operations Manual Eldest Brother gave me!”

Laozi silently pulls out his new book: On How the Mystic Sect’s First Disciple Turned Us into Brother-Con Obsessed Fools