I Make Pickled Cabbage in the Cyber Universe and Beat Up Capitalists

Lin Jiujiu, an overworked office drone who dies suddenly in front of an Excel spreadsheet, is reborn in the cyberpunk Magic City of 2077, only to become the Cosmic Inspector General. Her weapons are jars of pickled cabbage steeped in the tears of Martian miners, her armor is a golden toilet seat, and her ultimate move is a quantum barrage compiled from the Labor Law.

The Fortune Group uses “fortune chips” to convert workers’ heartbeats into fuel for capital, turning stomach ulcers into overtime medals. Leading a crew of unhinged allies, including the IT department’s king of slacking, who roasts EMPs in a microwave; a young hacker who embroiders company bylaws onto toilet paper; and a blind embroiderer who stitches obscene poetry onto circuit boards, Lin Jiujiu topples the Cyber Heavenly Court, melts the chairman’s toupee into golden thread, and pickles the ashes of capital into a bowl of galactic river-snail rice noodles.

From pickled-bamboo-shoot star-dust bombardments to quantum toilet-seat trials, from free-skating graffiti to a Zuan-style embroidered firewall, this is a fantasy about office drones using their hard-earned slacking skills to beat the Fortune Group into the ground. When the golden toilet seat clamps around a capitalist’s throat, you’ll understand: every paid bathroom break taken by a worker is a romantic uprising against cyber tyranny!

(A cyberpunk Journey to the West meets a workplace V for Vendetta, marinating capital’s coffin in internet memes.)