One Piece: Long Xuan

It's worth reading, but it's not a One Piece story at the moment. More everyday. I didn't go after Pluto or Uranus (to be honest, I really don't like the higher-ups like Pluto or Uranus. It's almost as good as Neptune).

Why doesn't the protagonist take Hancock into his harem? The plot is very exciting and I hope the author will work harder on it.

To be honest, the progress has been obvious. 1. The writing of the first ten chapters contains a lot of "he". In fact, sometimes this "he" can be omitted, otherwise it will be difficult to substitute. It gradually improved later. 2. The subsequent sea adventures before arriving at the Water City and the acquisition of girls are very good (for example, the plot of receiving the Siren Fruit could be more), and the defeat of Akainu is a small climax. 3. The protagonist's method of attracting girls is also very reasonable as his strength changes, but as you describe more girls, their reactions and opinions sometimes become too much. Especially when everyone is reading the newspaper, everyone has a comment, and then there are the opinions and exclamations of each force reading the newspaper. It would take more than one chapter to write together. Especially the opinions of the NPCs in the tavern are best not to be written. If you want to write, there must be at least a supporting character from the original work beside them to promote the development of the story or lay down the foreshadowing. 4. Distinguish the priority of the story. I can't understand the chapter of sending Qiqi home. Since she can't get on the ship, she just takes it off in one go. There is a large group of people to send her off and there are all kinds of unnecessary plots. The main ones on Fish-Man Island are Shirahoshi and Charlie. (You can also recover the Target Fruit first, solve Hody Jones's troubles, and arrange Nami to have a Heart Network + Extreme Speed ​​+ Long-distance Lightning Strike) and then go shopping with the other women. When you arrive at any island, you have to do business first and then play. As soon as the protagonist arrives at Fish-Man Island, he says that he doesn't know what to do and is very confused. A charming protagonist must be able to arrange everything. 5. Finally, there are suggestions on the development of strength and fruits. Seeing, hearing and domineering: foresee the future (have it), listen to the voice of all things, resonate with emotions, and see through people's hearts. Armed color domineering: Liu Ying, released outside. Overlord color domineering: (killing by sight and hearing), (restraining the elementalization of the natural system), (making the phantom beasts unable to transform and use abilities or even destroy teleportation) Candle Dragon Fruit: Time (time acceleration, deceleration, domain, time retrieval, I don't know if it can affect the age of the creature,), dragon breath, wind blade, freezing breath, etc.

Overall, it's pretty good 🤔 Come on 🤔 Sometimes you don't have to worry about what other people say about you, and it's not their novel. You can write whatever you want. Now, basically, the author suddenly wants to write a novel, but as a result, those people evaluate it, and it looks like it was written by him [awkward laugh]

It's okay, but the writing in the front is not very good. I can read it faster in the front, and it slowly starts to get better in the middle and later stages. Then the combat power is a bit too fast, and I underestimate the navy. Then the crew basically has a domineering look, which is a bit fake. Then there are no other big problems. The multiple female protagonists are also YYDS 👍 👍 👍

The writing in the back is much better than in the front. The dialogue in the front is a little more human-like and seems to be more everyday. You can add more details to the girls to make their characters more prominent. Nami's weird spirit, Robin's evil lady, etc. Can be described more, which will make it more comfortable to watch. There are also some original short plots that are well written.

It's okay. The writing is very simple. It would be great if a little more details and some narrative were added. The masterpiece of One Piece Harem [Sneaky Smile] The writing style in the second part has obviously improved, it is much better than the previous one.

It looks good. Overall, I can only use the word "comfortable" to describe it. It's very smooth. Please update it soon.

It's supported by good reviews. The emotional and plot lines of this book are all simple. It's embarrassing at first glance, but it's still barely acceptable.

A very pure and exciting story about pirates and multiple women, which I like very much