Go Archaeologize, You Poor Thing!

Lin Xiaoman, a good-for-nothing archaeology student, receives a mysterious package: a rotting lacquer box containing a Qin-dynasty bronze bell. Engraved on the inside of the bell are the words: “Xu Fu’s final words: The elixir of immortality lies in the eyes of the Twelve Golden Men.” Wang Dachui’s electronic turtle suddenly starts speaking in a Shaanxi accent: “Warning! Warning! The Ancestral Dragon’s fury is approaching! A sinkhole is expected to appear in this shop in three minutes. Recommended escape plans: A. Use the front door. B. Jump out the window. C. Crawl into the bronze cauldron and pretend to be an artifact.” Ayi Guli suddenly unfastens her waist chain and flings it over a beam. “Hold on tight!” The moment we grab her chain, the floor of the entire milk tea shop plummets like an elevator. Shattered tapioca pearls float in midair. The milk foam rising from the bronze cauldron reflects the underground palace of the Mausoleum of Qin Shi Huang, hanging upside down, while the beckoning cat smeared with milk tea is now sitting on a dragon boat on a river of mercury, waving at us.