The Expressionless Second Senior Brother's Inner Voice Is Too Hilarious

It could be a little more descriptive, less metaphorical, and concise. There's nothing to say about the writing style, it's big enough to eat. The plot is also okay, if you want to see the emotional line, come on

The author is great, the setting is very good, and the writing style is very good. However, how can you make the novel the same as a composition or prose? 😂 The writing is very good, but it is too cumbersome, which makes people feel conflicted about wanting to read but not wanting to read 😢

I would like to express my personal opinion. The book is good, the content is novel, and the volume is large. People who are short of books and can accept my label below may consider reading it. The author can refer to this article. According to the content I saw, the key words are: There are two male protagonists (most likely the eldest brother and the second brother), awakening memories and writings (the past and present lives are not about souls passing through the body), voices, cultivating immortals, prophecies to break the situation and save the world, and the writing style uses AI to expand a lot, which makes it a bit literary. Focusing on a few keywords: The author defines the work as an imaginative two-male protagonist, and defines the protagonist as a cold and gentle person, but after the memory is recovered, it brings the setting of a happy person and a cp lover (just think of it as the author's split soul) The character design makes the second senior brother more vivid. A person who is usually cold and taciturn but cares about you has a very active mind. This kind of contrast is really jarring. There is a bit of foreshadowing in the subsequent details. In my opinion, the main line of this article should be to solve the big problems of cultivating immortals (common immortal cultivating articles are probably the invasion of demons, world compatibility and war, and world promotion), and at the same time, it should be supplemented by the story of getting along with the senior brother, plus the problem of deputy CP (this point is based on the second senior brother knocking CP or the author's imagination to develop various branches) So when it comes to the main plot, the story should be based on the common harem Long Aotian story originally centered on the senior brother as the reference world line (why I say this is because in the author's description, the original plot line does not have many situations where the senior brother solves the world's problems, and the first chapter of the author writes about a disaster similar to the annihilation of the world). Now it has been changed to avoid risks based on the original world line through the second brother's voice, and then the first brother's harem is cancelled, and he saves the world with the second brother, and develops feelings during the process. Because the author thinks that the writing is not good, he most likely uses AI to expand and polish many parts of the article. As a result, the current article generally feels a bit awkward. This problem is actually not bad, but when the author describes the branch line, which is the CP expenditure line, it marginalizes and eliminates the power that may have been needed by the main line (referring to the career female protagonist in the first dungeon). If you care about the second senior brother through the senior brother, and slowly advance the emotional line through awkwardness and the like, the original heroine will be useless, and some content in the dungeon will be dispensable and can be appropriately reduced. But your main plot is to save the world, but there is no basic content about saving the world. There is only one thing that is relevant, and that is the sect leader's request to keep it a secret. There are also salvation stories where the protagonist needs to become stronger. The female protagonist in the original world line provides a role similar to that of a logistics medic. The article also mentions that it is very important to the male protagonist. This also shows that the help provided by the female protagonist in the original world line will not be less than other hidden functions (referring to using the entire sect as a dowry). At first I saw that the junior brother you described who was just playing with medicine could indeed be used for development to fill this hole. But the junior brother you suddenly described avoided him, and even did not go to the competition. In this way, the connection between the two sides is basically gone. Then it is superfluous for you to write in the previous article that the other junior brothers in the master sect took a fancy to this invisible benefit and made preparations in advance. Moreover, the main character did not participate in the competition for the sake of a dispensable "gossip" story (two men who are rivals, and may also include a "straight man" and a gay). The description of the deputy cp is too redundant and makes the chapters about Zou Zou's martial arts competition particularly confusing (what feels weird is not as clear as the following simple and clear description through the main character, but there is no such awkward feeling, so it feels very redundant) In addition, using expanded writing to polish your writing description is also important to highlight some of your shortcomings. For example, in the photos of the secret realm, you have a problem with many perspectives. You can write the perspective of the junior brother, but when you write the perspective of the junior brother, you bring the protagonist. Many things are described repeatedly, and it is a bit unclear when changing the perspective, which makes it a bit boring to read. Since you are the protagonist, why is it always explained through other perspectives? You can follow the perspective of the protagonist, and then let the junior brother describe what he has experienced before in the form of narration. In this way, there will be no repetitive and redundant content, and the logic will appear simpler. When talking about branch lines, I specifically refer to cp, which is a feature of the article, but the description is a bit redundant. How should I put it, it feels a bit strange. The world view described is quite large, so it is understandable that there are many characters. However, I can't remember the characters among your senior sisters and junior brothers, because the division of the characters is not very clear. At first I thought they were all disciples of the same master at the same peak, but it turned out that there was one here and one over there, and it turned out to be very confusing. I suggested using the surnames of those who commonly practice immortality, plus senior brother/brother/sister. It would be better to use a few junior brothers who have the same master as the protagonist. Although I don't know what you want to write about the branch plot, the distinction between characters is still very important. (Personal opinion) I feel that it was originally intended to be a story about a relationship between a senior brother and a second senior brother, but in the end, I ended up writing it as a narration about the parts I had in mind that were in conflict with other junior brothers and the second senior brother. You, the author, may be feeling frustrated and a little happy, but I feel a little uncomfortable with it. (Maybe because of a bit of mental mysophobia) You can change it to the kind where senior brother sees the gossip and then the second senior brother knows about their private chat. This way I feel it is smoother and maybe more enjoyable🤔

It's good to watch, although it's a bit lacking and too rambling, but I still really like the plot in it. I don't know why Junior Brother Eleven is so at odds with the male protagonist 🤦, Senior Brother has a long way to go 😳, the recent plot is a little tighter, but it's just too little.

I feel that it is different from other writing methods that use dialogue to advance the plot. The teacher is a delicate cook who attaches great importance to detailed description. He has a visual sense of eating delicious rice cooked passionately by old Ford or Ao 3 CP circles. The long paragraphs of text description are really suitable for people with poor eyesight who still like to read. It is really suitable for people with ADHD to listen and answer questions at the same time (the efficiency is very high! It feels like another piece of fresh air among the many voices written by foreign persimmons. It verifies the rationality of the protagonist's voice from another angle. Regarding your forward-looking description of the worldview in the first chapter, boss. When I read similar heart-felt articles in the past, I felt that everyone's acceptance of heart-felt messages was as tolerant as foreigners communicating in broken Chinese. Although there are facts to prove it, I felt that there was no acceptance process and I suddenly believed it. It looked weird. All in all, it's a blast to watch! It's so awesome to watch! So far, it looks like a very cute and interesting group portrait. Hao couldn't help but run over to give a rating (pass a rose to the boss🥺🌹)

It's pretty good, just a little stained, but the plot is pretty good.

Well, it feels like it is a large piece of Chinese language. Friends who like rhetoric in Chinese compositions can come in. Friends who like me more like it are rougher, more emotionally prominent, and very strong, and there is not so much rhetoric. Friends who directly say yes can already go out with me, because people like us are not welcome here. I finished reading it, but I was confused. I read 312, and then just a little bit of the plot. , I pay more attention to the plot and the cp and so on, because if you read too many books like this, it should be the one from Lao Bat. What I am more in line with is the characteristics of our usual kind of writing.

Super pretty! 💕 I hope Xiao Xi will be happy every day 😳 Also! The eldest brother and the second brother are locked in a locked position. [Laughs]

It's very interesting to watch, and the plot is good 💕 [Blowing Kisses] [Attention], but the emotional line is too slow. After watching it for so long, only the eldest brother seemed to be enlightened, while the second brother felt not enlightened at all 🤦 🤦

Although I like to watch group portraits, are there too many supporting roles? Moreover, the main plot has not gone through much, and it is not worth mentioning the transitional years of cultivation. Maybe it's my personal feeling, I think the second senior brother is a bit OOC, and now I can't combine his face and his voice at all. Senior brother, I haven't appeared for a long time, and there has been no interaction when I did appear｡°(°¯᷄◠¯᷅°)°｡Ross, does this mean that your love line is longer than your life? Finally, it's not easy for Rouse to write so much, come on! Finish it