The Relativity of a Hairpin Turn

“When my Wuling Hongguang broke 299,792,458 m/s on Mount Akina, the GTR in my rearview mirror suddenly underwent quantum decoherence. The traffic ticket read: ‘Created a Schwarzschild radius in a 40 km/h zone. Demerit points: 114,514.’ But they couldn’t find my car. At that moment, I was stuck in a drainage ditch in 2013, making room for my past self.”