Genshin Impact: I Get the Seven Archons’ Templates from the Start

[A cheeky System] [Laugh-out-loud comedy] [Absurdist humor] [Packed with memes] [Completely unhinged plot] [High-octane] After staying up all night and working himself to death, he binds to the Seven Archons System from the start! Su Zhe, an overworked office drone, opens his eyes to find he’s landed in Genshin Impact’s Teyvat, as a “rookie” in the Knights of Favonius. He comes with a [Seven Archons Template System], unlocks Zhongli’s shield to go head-to-head with Dvalin, then summons a Hilichurl with a fire axe and burns down half a forest! Klee hugs a little bomb and cheers, “Big brother, you’re even cooler than Dodoco! Let’s go fish-blasting together sometime~” So much for the promised Dragon King script. Why does everything keep taking such an unexpected turn? He gets the Anemo Archon drunk with Venti’s poetry, only for Acting Grand Master Jean to mistake him for the Anemo Archon’s illegitimate son. He borrows Raiden Shogun’s one-strike kill to take down La Signora, then lies unconscious for three days. He transforms into Azhdaha and trades blows with Osial’s wife, leaving Ganyu’s pupils trembling. “Lord of Geo... since when did you have an illegitimate son?!” Even more absurdly, the System randomly summons monsters from the game every day. Slimes act cute, Ruin Guards wreck the place, and even Zhongli rubs his forehead. “Director Hu, I think we should prepare a coffin for him at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor...” Heh? Me, fight the Tsaritsa and the Abyss? Will I win? The System: “You will. Or we can both die horribly.” Su Zhe: “You ****”