Hoshino: Under the Blue, Traces of Ourselves and Others

Very well written and very good. It has a unique idea and a unique route. If you are a chef in Hoshino and prefer plot, please read more [laughs] The character's personality and behavioral logic are well written, but there are still a few points that can be made. 1. I have read all the updates so far, and my experience after listening to all the chapters is that the timeline is chaotic, but it is not unclear, but it is the protagonist's parents' line, the modern timeline, and the death retrospective. The overlap of these three makes the article slightly muddy, because there are too many foreshadowings about the self-created characters and related personalities and the characteristics behind her. The story has too many foreshadowings and not much is revealed layer by layer. Moreover, almost all three of these will appear in the protagonist's choices at the same time, and the subsequent ending will cause death. Parts, three points are concentrated, so it will make people feel more chaotic (the suggestion here is to wait until the plot eases, well, through some questions and memories, you can not only describe the protagonist's inner character and thoughts better, draw better, but also let others know more about the protagonist, thus promoting the relationship) 2. The change of the protagonist's combat power is a problem. In the final analysis, it is still that the timeline is too messy and the ability is acquired. The cause is the same, that is, choosing the wrong option to go back and then choose again. If you can't beat it, go down or drive and come back, fall to the ground again and open again. An additional problem is that too little is revealed about the settings of the buried self-created characters, so... Many things are guessed at a slow speed, and the protagonists are retroactively improved many times (the root of the problem is not where to expand the plot, but the high-frequency, repetitive and confusing feelings. After all, it is an original drama Love, so the perspective that readers see and what they understand is still less than the film, and they can't imagine it so clearly, so there are my problems, and I hope the author can work harder, um, the description ability will be better) 3. The last thing is about the emotional line, although the self-created plot is particularly good, the character The settings don't feel skewed, but in terms of the emotional line... First, the main line is advanced very compactly, so there is not much communication with Hoshino. But even if there is too much time, you can see that the protagonist has a special relationship with Hoshino, but not much. Dreams sometimes come out to smooth things over hh~, and then there is the description of dreams Writing, I can only say that his relationships, emotions and status are very low and very bad. The number of descriptions is really low. I know that the main object and emotional route of this book are not dreams, but as an important part of the plot and part of interpersonal communication, there are very few communication and descriptions, and the status is very low. Bai Zi's sudden appearance and closeness. I didn't feel any problems with the description of the relationship, and it was surprisingly good in terms of shortcomings. Finally, there is Hina. In fact, it has not been fully described why Gohena came to Abydos to help (the foreshadowing has not been filled in, although I have almost guessed it, but you have to say it, at least other viewers may not be able to see it). Secondly, as a high-end combat force in Abydos... Although it is an external force, the number of people in the plot is really small, so it is a lively appearance. It is very important, so I hope the author can coordinate it more, and then there is the agreement between Hina and the protagonist, which is the agreement to help. I hope this will not disappear, but will be reflected in the end, at least say something about it. I don't want Hina to just work for free and then remember this kindness. The above are all the questions I want to ask after reading it. Although it seems that there are many questions, in fact, I can't say so many advantages, because the good things are always hidden in it. It's difficult for me to express it, but I really feel that your writing is very good in describing and writing the plot, and the self-created plot is also very good. I am looking forward to your subsequent development, and I also know that it takes a long time to think after self-creation. Take your time, come on. I hope you will finish it perfectly, come on [Sending Hearts]

If you are a Hoshino chef, then this book will be very suitable for you. The plot personally feels smooth overall, and the writing in the protagonist's heart is also very good.

Not enough, not enough at all! ! ! (Crazy)

Good looking Hoshino stickers

Come on, author! It's very beautiful, I like it very much! !

It's pretty good to watch, but the plot sometimes feels a bit abrupt.